Parallelism in Writing by Susan Thurman
For your work to be easily read — and, in some cases, for it to be coherent — using parallelism is important. This helps you give equality and balance to separate the points you make.
Puzzled? Not to worry. Understanding parallelism isn't as difficult as it may seem. You simply write all the similar parts of a sentence in the same way. If you've used two nouns, you don't suddenly switch to a gerund. If you've used verbs that have a certain tense, you don't suddenly change tenses. If you begin in one voice, you don't suddenly switch to another voice.
Take a look at some of the examples that follow, and you'll get a clearer understanding of what parallelism is and how important it is in your writing.
Parallelism Problem #1: Items in Pairs or in a Series
When naming items, you should present them all in the same way. Look at this problem sentence:
This afternoon Doris and Stefanie washed and waxed, and then they were vacuuming the car.
Here is the problem viewed one way:
This afternoon Doris and Stefanie washed (past tense verb) and waxed (past tense verb), and then they were vacuuming (past progressive tense verb) the car.
Here is the problem viewed another way:
This afternoon Doris and Stefanie washed (-ed word) and waxed (-ed word), and then they were vacuuming (-ing word) the car.
Here's the repaired sentence that's now parallel:
This afternoon Doris and Stefanie washed, waxed, and vacuumed the car.
All the verbs are now in the same tense; all verbs are now — ed words.
This famous line uses parallelism effectively:
“With this faith we will be able to work together, to pray together, to struggle together, to go to jail together, to stand up for freedom together, knowing that we will be free one day.” — Rev. Martin Luther King, Jr.
The following example shows the incorrect use of parallel items in a series when a colon is used:
A word processor has three helpful features that save time: you can quickly edit material you don't want, you can save drafts and revise them, and it can automatically correct words that you frequently misspell.
Here's the problem viewed one way:
A word processor has three helpful features that save time: you [second person] can quickly edit material you don't want, you [second person] can save drafts and revise them, and it [third person] can automatically correct words that you frequently misspell.
Here's the problem viewed another way:
A word processor has three helpful features that save time: you [you as subject] can quickly edit material you don't want, you [you as subject] can save drafts and revise them, and it [it as subject] can automatically correct words that you frequently misspell.
Here's the repaired sentence that's now parallel:
A word processor has three helpful features that save time: you can quickly edit material you don't want, you can save drafts and revise them, and you can automatically correct words that you frequently misspell.
Parallelism Problem #2: Clauses
When you're using more than one clause, keep the same voice and use the same type of introduction in each. Here's the problem sentence:
I was worried that Joan would drive too fast, that the road would be too slippery,
and that the car would be stopped by the police.
Here's the problem viewed one way:
I was worried that Joan would drive too fast [active voice], that the road would be too slippery [active voice], and that the car would be stopped by the police [passive voice].
Here's the repaired sentence that's now parallel:
I was worried that Joan would drive too fast, that the road would be too slippery, and that the police would stop the car.
Now look at this problem sentence:
Mary Elizabeth and Ron promised that they would bring everything for the picnic, that they would be on time, and not to forget the bug repellent.
This is one way to look at the problem:
Mary Elizabeth and Ron promised that they would bring everything for the picnic [clause introduced with a subordinating conjunction], that they would be on time [clause introduced with a subordinating conjunction], and not to forget the bug repellent [clause introduced with an adverb and infinitive].
Or you can look at it this way:
Mary Elizabeth and Ron promised that they would bring everything for the picnic [clause introduced with that], that they would be on time [clause introduced with that], and not to forget the bug repellent [clause introduced with not to forget].
Here's the repaired sentence that's now parallel:
Mary Elizabeth and Ron promised that they would bring everything for the picnic, that they would be on time, and that they wouldn't forget the bug repellent.
Parallelism Problem #3: Placement
Items in a series should be placed in similar locations. Take a look at this problem sentence:
Mike is not only very kind but also is very good-looking.
Let's look at the problem:
Mike is not only [first part of a correlative conjunction not only comes after the verb] very kind but also [second part of a correlative conjunction but also comes before the verb] is very good-looking.
Here's the repaired sentence that's now parallel:
Mike is not only very kind but also very good-looking.
Parallelism Problem #4: Placement of Emphasis or Chronology
If the items in a list have different degrees of importance or if they occur at different times, you should order them according to their emphasis or chronology. Look at this problem sentence:
Misuse of the drug can result in fever, death, or dizziness.
Now, identify the problem:
Misuse of the drug can result in fever [something that's bad], death [somethingthat's the worst of the three], or dizziness [something that's bad].
Here's the repaired sentence that's now parallel:
Misuse of the drug can result in fever, dizziness, or death.
In writing your sentence this way you've built up to the climax (the worst problem — death). You might also include a word or phrase before the last element to add to the buildup; for example, you could word the sentence like this:
Misuse of the drug can result in fever, dizziness, or even death.
Parallelism Problem #5: Missing Words
Be sure to include all the words you need for each item in your sentence. Look at this problem sentence:
Coach Tom Todd was honored for guiding his star player Cathy Rymer in her career, her schoolwork, and faith.
Identify the problem:
Coach Tom Todd was honored for guiding his star player Cathy Rymer in her career, her schoolwork, and faith [the word her is not included in the last item of the list of how the coach guided Rymer].
Here's the repaired sentence that's now parallel:
Coach Tom Todd was honored for guiding his star player Cathy Rymer in her career, her schoolwork, and her faith.
Parallelism Problem #6: Unclear Meaning
Include all the words necessary to indicate the items to which you're referring in the sentence. Look at this problem sentence:
In conducting her interview, Gail Bushrod talked with the college senior and candidate for the job.
Identify the problem: Did Gail talk with one person who was a senior and who was interviewing for the job, or with two people — one of whom was a senior and one of whom was interviewing for the job?
Here's the repaired sentence that's now parallel:
In conducting her interview, Gail Bushrod talked with both the college senior and the candidate for the job.
Sometimes you may deliberately repeat certain elements of your sentence, as in this example:
I promise to cut taxes, spending, and exorbitant salary raises.
That sentence is fine the way it is, but to add emphasis to the cuts, you might choose to write it this way:
I promise to cut taxes, to cut spending, and to cut exorbitant salary raises.
Parallelism Problem #7: Too Many Words
You don't need to repeat the same introductory word if it applies to all of the items in your list. Look at this problem sentence:
Bill hopes to see Randa on November 20, December 13, and on January 7.
Identify the problem:
Bill hopes to see Randa on [preposition before noun] November 20, [preposition missing] December 13, and on [preposition appears again] January 7.
Here's the repaired sentence that's now parallel:
Bill hopes to see Randa on November 20, December 13, and January 7.
The same preposition relates to each date, so there is no need to repeat it.
Parallelism Problem #8: Too Few Words
If different prepositions apply to items in a series, be sure to include all the prepositions. Look at this problem sentence:
The ants are on the living room floor, the dining room table, and the sink. (Yikes! Better get out the bug spray!)
Identify the problem:
The ants are on [use the preposition on with this phrase] the floor, [use the preposition on with this phrase] the kitchen table, and [use the preposition on with this phrase, but the preposition should be in] the sink.
Here's the repaired sentence that's now parallel:
The ants are on the living room floor, on the dining room table, and in the sink.
The beginning preposition (on) doesn't relate to each area, so you should repeat it in the second phrase and change it to in for the third phrase.
Parallelism Problem #9: Parallel Sentences
To add emphasis or smoothness, construct your sentences in a parallel way. Look at this example:
I was nervous and frightened, and I hid my emotions. My sister showed the world that she felt confident and carefree.
Identify the problem: Actually, there's no grammatical problem with the sentences, but they can certainly be improved by being written in a parallel manner.
Here are the repaired sentences that are now parallel:
I was nervous and frightened, and I hid my emotions. My sister was confident and carefree, and she showed the world how she felt.
Tips for Parallelism
If a lack of parallelism is often a problem in your writing, try the following tips:
Look for -ing or -ed constructions.
Look for constructions beginning with it, that, to, and you.
Look for constructions beginning with the same preposition.
Look at the voice (active or passive) used in the constructions.
Check to see if one of the constructions is more important than the others; if so, place it last.
If you've used a correlative conjunction, check to see if you have its partner (e.g., either … or).
If you have items in a series, write them down in a column. Look for common elements in two parts of the series, and then convert the other items so they'll be formed in the same way. Sometimes your ear is more reliable than your eye. Good writers read their material aloud and listen for words and phrases that aren't parallel.
Try the interactive quizzes on parallelism at these Web sites:
tinyurl.com/2ys764 |
tinyurl.com/2e7ngz |
tinyurl.com/23kzv6 |
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