One of the major problems with fertility issues the second (or third, or fourth …) time around is that couples may be less likely to report the issue to their doctors. They are more likely to assume they are fertile — after all, they have previously had a baby. This can prevent people from seeking help as early in the process as they might if it were their first attempt at pregnancy.

You may also find that you are less likely to be taken seriously. Often you are told to be relaxed and keep trying. This attitude can further delay treatment because you may be more likely to believe that there is no real problem. This prevents you from receiving the swift and early testing and treatment that you may require to have a subsequent child.

When you do decide to seek help it is important to impress upon your doctor or practitioner that you do know what you are talking about. Be sure to give dates that you have been trying, for example, “Doctor, my husband and I have been having unprotected, well-timed intercourse for eighteen months and have not conceived.” This makes more of an impression than, “We've been trying for a while and haven't gotten pregnant.”

If you have been using low-tech methods to help you conceive, be sure to mention that as well. Women often learn a lot about their bodies during their previous pregnancy experiences and can take that added information and incorporate it into their fertility attempts.

Point out changes in your health and lifestyle to your physician. Remind him or her that you are older now than when you had your first child. Review any changes that you can think of to try to help figure out why you may be experiencing a problem this time around.

Once you have found the practitioner who is appropriately aggressive with your treatment, you will likely feel much better about contacting them for help. It is not an imaginary problem. Secondary infertility is a very real occurrence, and you need to do what is best for you and your family.