Factors used in selecting a donor like hobbies and educational background are not known to directly relate to what your future child will be like. However, they may be more comforting for you or for the potential donor.

Whatever you decide to use as you choose a donor is perfectly acceptable. Do not let the preferences of others influence you as you make your decision. This needs to be a 100 percent decision for you and your partner.

Choosing a donor is a huge deal. The person that you and your partner choose will be the DNA behind your future baby. For some couples, they do not wish to know who this person is or much about her. This anonymity is very important to them.

You and your partner may prefer an unknown donor. This may be because you do not know anyone who would make a suitable donor for you, or it may be that you prefer not to know the donor. Either decision is perfectly appropriate. Having an anonymous donor is more common than a known donor in many areas. It also prevents you from having to explain your fertility issues to someone else, if you have chosen to keep your fertility problems a secret.

Your fertility clinic will have a protocol by which a donor is chosen for you. You will be asked to select criteria you wish to base your choice of egg donor on. This could be eye color, hair color, body build, ethnicity, religion, or any number of other factors. Some fertility clinics will offer you physical and educational sketches of potential donors. In turn, the donor may be given some biographical information about you. This biographical information might include information such as a letter from you about why you are pursuing egg donation and why you wish to have a baby. Some fertility centers may also ask you to send in a photograph. Ask your fertility treatment team or the donor egg coordinator what the actual process is for your center.

No matter how your donor is chosen for you, be sure that you are completely comfortable with the process. This is a huge decision and not one that is made lightly. Talk to the donor egg coordinator at your fertility center about how the process is kept anonymous. This will help you if you fear finding out who the anonymous donor is for your cycle.

The cost of an unknown donor may be slightly higher per cycle than that of known donor. This is because there is usually some form of compensation offered to the donor for her time and trouble in this setting. There are agencies that are set up to do nothing but provide fertility clinics with egg donors. They are usually more expensive, but often do more extensive searching for the egg donors. This may reduce the wait you have for a donor.

Using a donor you know, or a known donor, is another popular option in the field of egg donation. You may have a friend or family member who is willing to donate eggs to you. This is usually a great option for you if you have this available.

Using a known donor, and hence the eggs of someone you know, can give you many benefits. It allows you to be more genetically related to your baby (if your donor is your sister or other relative). It can take some of the fear of the unknown out of the process. It also allows you to have contact with your egg donor.

While all of these points may be beneficial, they may also weigh heavily on your mind. You may wonder if the stress on the donor is too much. Perhaps you're worried about everything you are putting her through. It's best to be open and to discuss these issues with whomever you've chosen as your donor. This can prevent hurt feelings and feelings of frustration down the road.

Even when you are using a known donor, you will be asked to see the psychiatrist or psychiatric practitioner of your clinic. This meeting will usually include the donor as well as yourself, and may also include any spouses.

During this meeting the topic of discussion will vary widely. Some of it is designed to address concerns you currently have or may have in the future. Other topics may include how to deal with your relationship or with feelings at a later date. For example, if you choose your sister as your donor, how will you or she feel about the child? Will either of you worry about the “ownership” of the child? What will you tell the child about his or her genetics and when? These psychiatric components will also help you later down the road if questions or concerns should arise. The good news is that the majority of donor/recipients are clear about their paths and this meeting only solidifies that path for the parties involved.

Now, let's say you have someone in mind to be an egg donor, but you don't know how to approach her about the issue. Look for signs that this person might be open to being a candidate and find a time to talk when neither of you will be interrupted. She may or may not know of your struggle to have a child. You might have to fill her in on the details.

Once you have told her of your fertility journey, explain to her the process of egg donation. Tell her that you would be honored if she would help you by being your egg donor. Then tell her you want to give her space and time to think about the proposal. This is, after all, a huge decision. Explain that you have a host of people who would be willing to talk to her to get her more information if she needs it. Also assure her that your relationship will not be harmed if she chooses to decline being your egg donor.

Then back away and give her space. She may have questions that you can't answer. She will possibly need to consult with other people before making her decision, like her husband or partner, her religious counsel, or her doctor or midwife.

She may not agree to this proposal. This might be something that she cannot do for whatever reason. If this is the case you do need to respect her desire without letting it hurt your relationship.

Once the donor is selected the process starts. A timing schedule is chosen that benefits both parties, meaning everyone is available at the same time to ensure proper cycle synchronization. This time frame may be from a few weeks to a few months.