Adjusting to "Daddyhood"
If you are a new dad or dad-to-be, you may actually have a lot on your mind while others think that you're uninterested. That's why, as early as possible in the pregnancy, you should start trying to figure out what questions you would like to have answered.
You can start by going to as many of the obstetrician visits as possible; even if you just sit in the waiting room, there are plenty of resources available that will spark your thought process and generate the kinds of questions that would've eventually come anyway. If you choose to go into the examining room for each visit, have some of your questions ready for the doctor (who's been through this experience hundreds of times and can probably give you lots of reassurance).
Typical Concerns
Understanding your role as a father can be confusing, to say the least. Who should get more of your attention, your wife or your helpless little one? How can you balance the care of your family with your job while keeping your own stress level to a minimum? Where will all of the money come from to raise this new life and put it through college? These are typical concerns of new fathers.
Essential
Talk about your feelings as openly and directly as possible. Ask your partner to listen without judging you or your feelings. Tell her that you simply need to express yourself and be heard. What you really need, after all, is the same thing that she does: reassurance that you can indeed be a good parent.
Communicate — with Everyone
The most important thing you can do as a new father is communicate with your mate, your baby, and the rest of your family. Read parenting magazines to familiarize yourself with all of the issues of parenthood. Ask your father how he coped before you were born. Or talk to other new fathers you know. Ask a lot of questions; you'll feel much more confident after you hear about what other fathers have experienced. And you might get some great ideas!
Relax and Enjoy!
Most of all, relax and enjoy this exciting new stage in your life. You are going to be a major influence in your child's life, and everything will work itself out in due time. You may not realize it, but it is likely that your own father grappled with the same dilemmas, worries, and concerns that you now face; he survived, and so will you.
