Do you have a few friends who haven't yet given your baby presents and are asking you what you need? Here's a thought: Tell them, “We have all the clothes and toys for her that we need. What I really need is a break. Some sleep. Some rest. You really want to give us something? Give us some respite. Watch the baby while I take a nap or watch her while we go out for dinner.”

Going out for dinner won't help the sleep situation, of course, but it will give you a much-needed break that may be as useful as a few hours of Zzzzs.

Who else can you call on for respite? Do you have relatives — your parents, a sibling — who live in the area? How about enlisting your best friend … and a few other friends, too? What about a paid babysitter? None of these is likely to be able to help you overnight. After all, you don't really want to ask your mom, sister, or friend to endure a sleepless night while you slumber peacefully. But they could watch your baby by day while you catch a much-needed nap.

If you can't arrange for off-premises babysitting, maybe you can arrange for you to be off-premises while your rescuer babysits. While your mom is at your house watching your baby, maybe you can go to your mom's house and sleep there, undisturbed by crying in the next room.

If that's not feasible, maybe another friend would offer you the use of her home or apartment. Do you have a friend who works and isn't home by day? If she has a husband and/or kids, are they gone from the house by day, too? Borrow a key and go stretch out on your friend's bed for some much-needed sleep while your babysitter handles the baby-watching chores back home.

In fact, getting occasional respite care and going off on your own is a good plan even if you don't use the time to catch up on your sleep. Going out to lunch with a friend or your spouse, getting your hair done, wandering through an art gallery, or doing whatever appeals to you recreationally are all fine plans for daytime escapes. But in those first few months, when your sleep may be badly curtailed, getting caught up on sleep is more important than any of those other things and will probably be your primary objective when you can get respite care for the baby.

Don't be afraid to ask for help, either. Friends may not realize it's what you need most. If your friends all have day jobs away from home and you have no relatives living nearby, pay a sitter and/or ask your friends for help on weekends. On Wednesday morning after a curtailed Tuesday night's sleep, Saturday may seem a long way off, but you'll still be grateful for even just an hour of coverage on Saturday when it comes.

You can even find another woman — a friend, a neighbor, anyone you trust — who has a baby of comparable age and would be willing to trade off with you, with one of you watching both kids and then the other watching both kids, giving each other a chance to sleep.

Using a Night Nurse

The use of a night nurse to help out with a new baby is a growing trend for those who can afford it. Finding someone to come to your home and take responsibility for your baby calls for careful investigation. Work from the recommendation of a friend or seek help from a reputable nurse's agency. There is usually a minimum and a maximum period specified when working through an agency — typically two weeks to six months, but that will vary and may be subject to negotiation. The cost is significant. Typically, agencies charge between $17.50 and $35.00 an hour for an eight-hour day.