Now that you know all the negative impacts of stress, you understand why it's so important to take control of it. Left to linger, uncontrolled stress influences almost every aspect of your well-being and takes a negative toll on your health.

Truth is, you will always have stressors in your life. Whether it's a job you hate, a wedding you have to plan, or a long commute to cope with, stress is an inevitable part of our existence. But stress doesn't just come from events that occur. Stress is also the result of how you perceive an event. For instance, you might find it stressful to sit through a traffic jam. But your best friend might view it as an opportunity to hear a radio talk show she enjoys. Shifting your thinking to a less stressful mindset, then, can play a key role in taking control of stress. Taking charge of stress then must take place on three levels:

• First, you must try to reduce the numbers of events that potentially stress you out. While you certainly can't control every aspect of your life, you can minimize those that cause you undue anxiety.

• Second, practice altering your perspective of troubling events. Maybe you can't give your boss a personality makeover, but you can change the way you think of her.

• Finally, make time to relax in order to counter the effects of stress. If stress is truly inevitable, then you need strategies that keep it in check.

Attacking stress on all three levels will help you reduce it and prevent your fibro symptoms from worsening. Although nothing can ever completely eliminate stress, the following strategies can help buffer you from it.

Scale Back

When you have a chronic condition like fibromyalgia, it's important to prioritize and do those things that matter most. This goes back to what we've said before about setting priorities, delegating, and learning to pace yourself. Attempting to do it all or trying to do too much will result in stress, especially when you find that you can no longer do all that you once did. By cutting back on your activities, workload, and responsibilities, you'll find you're less stressed and better able to endure the challenges of fibromyalgia.

Sleep If Possible

A good night's rest is one of the most potent weapons against stress. When you're rested, you're better able to withstand life's little annoyances — the surly sales clerk, the long lines, the unexpected flat tire — than you are when you're tired.

So while getting a good night's sleep might seem impossible with fibromyalgia, it's important to try to adopt strategies that can enhance your sleep. That means making sleep a priority, going to bed on a schedule, and avoiding activities and substances that interfere with sleep.

Practice Relaxation

Making time to relax can make a world of difference in how you feel. It's a chance for you to pause, rejuvenate, and recharge — mentally, physically, even emotionally. Unfortunately, relaxation falls to the bottom of the priority list when you're trying to keep up with everything else on your to-do list. But when you have fibromyalgia, it's important to put relaxation back at the top of your priorities. Think of it as a special time for you. Here are some ways to relax throughout your day:

• Take a break with a cup of hot herbal tea.

• During the day, take a short walk with a friend.

• Consider learning meditation.

• Make time to stretch every hour or two.

• Call a friend who makes you laugh.

Banish Negative Self-Talk

Most of us have a voice inside our head that offers running commentary on how we're doing in our lives. A positive voice can work wonders toward helping you achieve your goals. That voice might tell you, “You're doing great!” or “They really like you.” But some people are prone to hearing negative self-talk that can cause unwarranted stress and anxiety.

People who have fibromyalgia may be especially vulnerable when they're still trying to get a handle on their condition. Here are a few examples of this type of negative self-talk:

• “I'll never live normally again.”

• “I can't possibly get it done.”

• “It's all my fault.”

• “I can never do it as well as does.”

• “I should be doing .”

When you're trying to control stress, it's important to banish these kinds of negative, all-or-nothing thoughts. Overgeneralizing and setting impossible standards with “should” statements won't help either. You also need to get away from blaming yourself, comparing yourself to others, and setting yourself up for failure by taking on an impossibly long list of chores. So instead of the above statements, try telling yourself some of the following:

• “I may not be well, but I'll do my best.”

• “I'll do what I can and do the rest another time.”

• “Getting sick can happen to anyone.”

• “ may do better at this, but it doesn't really matter.”

• “I need to take care of my health first.”

Eat Well

It's tempting to dive into a bowl of macaroni and cheese when we're feeling stressed out. Traditional comfort foods are often associated with making us feel safe and secure. But in reality, these foods can make us feel lethargic. In the long run, too much of these soothing, high-fat foods can promote weight gain.

Instead, when you're stressed, you should focus on eating nutritious foods, such as fruits and vegetables, which can help bolster an immune system already taxed by stress. If you prefer carbohydrates, strive to eat the complex kind, such as whole-grain breads, pastas, and cereals. Also include low-fat sources of protein in your diet, such as fish, lean beef, turkey, and tofu. Finally, drink plenty of water.

At the same time, you need to avoid foods that contain caffeine, sugar, fat, and salt, which exacerbate the symptoms of stress, especially if eaten in large quantities. These foods can also cause weight gain. Also beware of consuming too much alcohol, especially if you've had a substance abuse problem in the past. In large amounts, alcohol will compound your stress and prevent you from dealing effectively with your fibromyalgia.

Exercise

When you're in a perpetual state of fight or flight, your body actually wants activity. Moving your body will help release some of the pent-up energy that's been stored in the event of a real emergency. It also releases feel-good endorphins that help produce the relaxation response.

So make regular exercise a priority. Don't get in the habit of skipping it when you're too busy or too tired. That's when you're most likely to be stressed and in need of a good workout. Regular activity will reduce stress, improve function, and help you sleep better at night.

Treat Yourself Well

Too often, we race through life trying to attend to all our responsibilities and obligations — most often to other people. What you should do instead is something special for yourself every day. Whether it's renting a beloved movie, getting a manicure, or spending time with a special friend, don't shy away from indulgences, even when you're not feeling your best. In fact, sometimes a little self-soothing is just what you need to distract you from your pain and fatigue. That's what Amy learned to do when her pain got bad.

During a fibro flare, Amy learned she had to stop, rest, and enjoy some quiet fun. She kept a ready stack of funny movies and indulged in childhood activities like coloring, blowing bubbles, and playing with Play Dough. Sometimes, she just sat and read magazines or books. The respites helped her get through her toughest moments.

Surrender When Necessary

Everyone knows about those unexpected fiascos that interrupt our best laid plans — the mechanic who forgot to order the must-have part, the traffic accident that blocked up the road, and the computer crash that annihilated your newest files. Rather than fume about it, ask yourself, “Is there really anything I can do about this?” Chances are good that there's nothing you can do.

Once you realize that these incidents are beyond your control, go into planning mode and think about what you can do instead. Maybe you can ask the mechanic to fix something else while you're there. Perhaps you can listen to your favorite CD until the accident clears up. Maybe a tech specialist can help you retrieve at least some of the work you lost. In some cases, you might simply have to chalk up the annoyance to a real bummer and move on. Remind yourself that letting it go is better for your health.

Breathe Deeply

We take our breaths for granted, but in fact, breathing is a wonderful tool for relaxation, one that also eliminates toxins and naturally lowers blood pressure and heart rate. When you stop to breathe, it helps shift your focus on to something other than the stressor at hand.

If you suffer from shortness of breath, try breathing through pursed lips. The technique slows the pace of your breathing and makes each breath more effective. Start by relaxing your shoulder and neck muscles. Then inhale slowly through your nose for two counts, making sure not to breathe too deeply. Next, pucker as if you were going to whistle or blow out a candle. Exhale slowly and gently through pursed lips as you count to four. The technique will relax you and improve your breathing pattern.

Get Organized

Chaos may signal creativity for some people, but in the life of someone with a chronic illness that's so unpredictable, unfettered messes can be stressful. Cluttered rooms, messy work places, and disorganized papers can make it hard to function or think clearly. In a bedroom, it can even disrupt sleep.

Trying to locate an important file is the last thing you want to deal with when you're living with fibromyalgia. Next time you have a good day, devote some time to cleaning out clutter and organizing stuff. Don't try to organize the entire house at once. Just do a single drawer, closet, or area of a room at a time. Your body will thank you later.

Pinpoint Big Stressors

Often, people go about their day putting out one fire after another or moving from task to task. That's fine when you're feeling well. But when you're not, it helps to figure out exactly what issues stress you most and to devise strategies in advance for dealing with them.

If it's being late for work, then maybe you need to do more preparations at night. If it's the stream of bills that you can't pay, maybe you should meet with a financial counselor. If it's low energy on a busy day, then maybe you should create a list of things you can do another time. The idea is to become aware of your stress triggers and to effectively nip them in the bud.

Assume Control

When you're not feeling well, it's easy to displace responsibilities on to other people. In some cases, it's essential to delegate certain tasks, such as preparing dinner, cleaning the house, or paying bills. But the big picture — namely all aspects of your health and well-being — should be in your hands. You should pick and choose the doctors you want, the activities you do, and the friends that surround you. By taking charge, you'll feel much more confident and in charge. And that alone can help you feel less stressed when life does throw you a curve ball.