Creating a Support Network
In her book Fibromyalgia and Chronic Myofascial Pain, Devin Starlanyl advises readers to create a group of at least five supporters, so that no one person is called upon to do too much or called upon all the time.
And different supporters can perform different roles. One might prepare meals for you. Another might provide a listening ear. Still another might offer medical advice and strategies for coping. All supporters, she says, should meet the following criteria for you:
You enjoy being with them.
You choose to be with them when you want to relax and have a good time.
You turn to them when you need to talk to someone.
You turn to them for help in making decisions.
You depend on them for help with tasks in daily living that have become too difficult.
Whether these people are family members, friends, neighbors, or work colleagues, they should all be educated about fibromyalgia and its impact on your life.
Tell them that there are times when your pain is severe and the fatigue is overwhelming. Explain that you may not always be able to do all the fun things that they'd like you to do. Tell them that there may be times when you'd prefer to be home lying on the couch than out and about.
Alert
Just because you have the ear and support of a good friend doesn't mean you should take advantage of that relationship. Be vigilant about courtesy and good manners. Don't call too late or expect that person to be available to you at all times. Respect her wish for time with her family. Don't drop in unannounced. She needs to know that her needs are as important to you as yours are to her.
At the same time, don't forget to hold up your end of the relationship. Although relationships must be 50-50, your half of the bargain will need to be made up of activities your fibromyalgia allows you to do.
So offer a listening ear or a helping hand whenever you can. And most important, express your gratitude. A simple thank you will let your supporters know that you appreciate them.
