Unlike fathers who don't want to help at all, the clueless dad may want to help, but he is just lousy at it. He doesn't know how to do anything. Although his intentions may be good, the clueless dad doesn't quickly learn from his mistakes. Some signs of a clueless dad include:

• Putting diapers on too loose, so that they leak

• Not changing his baby's clothes when they are soiled

• Feeding his baby inappropriate foods

• Not knowing how to put his baby in a car seat correctly

• Forgetting to connect the harness in the high chair

• Not knowing how to mix formula

• Giving the wrong dosage of vitamins or medicines

• Not knowing when his partner needs his help or support

• Thinking each cry means that the baby wants to breastfeed and handing her off to mom

• Freaking out every time the baby cries, jerks, or passes gas

As you can see, it can be downright dangerous to leave a baby with a clueless dad. Fortunately, unless he is being clueless on purpose to avoid responsibility, this type of dad can be helped, and can evolve into a father who is more supportive and helpful.

The keys to becoming a better dad include recognizing when you need help and then asking for it, and learning from your mistakes. Obviously, if you're a first-time father there are going to be things that are new to you, and things you don't know how to do. The important thing is that you realize this and get the help you need in order to learn the basics.

The clueless dad who doesn't want to learn to do a better job is really just a hands-off dad in disguise. Instead of being honest about not wanting to be a good father, this type of dad is trying to fool his partner or himself about how helpful (or unhelpful) he is, in order to avoid helping.