The Dating Game
As a new father, it might seem like you have plans each and every night, which might include a date to give your baby a bath, change her diapers, or burp her after a feeding, etc. You may begin to miss the real dates you used to have though, when you and your partner would go to dinner and a movie, see a band, or go out dancing. Nights out on the town have likely been replaced with late night feedings, singing lullabies, and trying to get your baby to sleep.
Eventually, both for the health of your relationship with your partner and your own sanity, you have to get back in the dating game. Of course that likely won't be going out every night or even every weekend. Without a reliable babysitter, it might only mean that you go out on a date once or twice a month if you are lucky, but fortunately that can be enough when you have a new baby at home.
What do you do if you can't find a babysitter?
Your first date doesn't have to be a date out of the house. Plan a romantic night at home after your baby goes to bed by cooking a meal for your partner or even bringing home some takeout, lighting some candles, and watching a movie.
One of the biggest issues with going on a date when you have a new baby at home isn't necessarily finding the time or even finding a babysitter. Sometimes it is simply overcoming the anxiety about leaving your baby home alone with someone else for the first time. This can be especially hard if you don't have a close family member or friend that has already been helping care for your baby.
Since a date night alone with your partner is a good way to keep your relationship strong, which of course is good for the baby too, try to figure out a way to make it work. You could practice short separations, when you make a short visit to a nearby coffee shop for a quick date, and then work your way up to a longer date as you all get more comfortable. Don't push your partner before she is ready though, as that will just increase the stress in your relationship, which is the opposite of what you are trying to do by having date nights.
As you get more comfortable going out on dates, try to plan them on a regular basis. A weekly date night is a great way to keep your relationship strong, give you both time to talk about things other than the baby, and give you time for some romance too.