Coping with Jealousy
Whatever the situation, people are often surprised when they become jealous about something. If a good friend gets a big promotion, someone is paying attention to a girlfriend, or a parent decides to spend the holidays with a sibling, it is not uncommon to develop some feelings of jealousy in situations like these.
It is well known that a new baby can cause some jealous feelings at home. Many parents even expect that their other children, especially younger ones, will get jealous. They are often ready for this and get their kids prepared well before the baby comes home to ward off these jealous feelings. Visitors might even be coached to pay extra attention to the new baby's siblings so that they don't feel jealous.
You can help to get over your feelings of jealousy by talking to other fathers who have likely been through the same thing and, of course, talking to your baby's mother about your feelings and why you think you might be having them.
Few expect that dad might get jealous too though, especially if he doesn't usually get jealous about most other things. After all, a new dad should be proud and secure in the fact that he has a new family and has the opportunity to create a long lasting bond with his new baby.
Unfortunately, jealousy often has a way of rearing its head and complicating the first year of fatherhood. A new dad might get jealous if he:
Resents that he is not able to bond with his baby as well as mom does
Thinks he is being ignored most of the time
Is angry about all of the time that mom is spending with the baby
Doesn't like that he is not able to do all of the things that he used to do before he had a baby
Feels like he doesn't know what he is doing most of the time
Whatever you think is triggering your feelings of jealousy, it is important to overcome them before they get in the way of bonding with your baby and your relationship with your partner. As much as you might want things to go back to the way they were before you had a baby, a new dad is not going to be able to spend as much alone time with his partner as he used to. In addition to talking about your feelings, learn to enjoy spending time together with the baby instead, get more confident caring for your baby so that you will enjoy your own bond, and do try to get some alone time with your partner when you can, even if this time is limited at first.
