Money: It's a Family Affair

One thing to realize is that the money burden is not all on your shoulders. Even if you make more money than she does, are the chief provider, and feel strongly in your heart that this is your most important role and the way that you can best contribute to your family's well-being, this is not your problem alone. Finances are a shared responsibility, and you and your partner need to face these issues together.

Each year for the past two decades, a national polling firm has conducted surveys about how men view themselves and their role in the family. Fathers have consistently said that “being a good provider” is their top job—ahead of being a leader, decision-maker, or anything else.

Look at this way. You're sharing more of the household chores, right? You're cooking more and doing some of the food shopping. You're going with your partner to her obstetrician appointments and planning to be the birth coach. When the baby comes home, you're going to be elbow to elbow with your partner, changing diapers, fixing bottles, and doing whatever needs to be done. Your partner can share some of the financial responsibilities in the same way you're helping out in these areas.

She is thinking a lot about money issues too and has her own set of worries. Because of this, she may be willing to sit down with you at the kitchen table and talk.

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