Believe it or not, most dads feel a little sad when they're forced to give their daughters away at the altar — even the dads who never expected to feel the slightest twinge of melancholy. It's really no surprise, though. In addition to literally kissing your daughter goodbye, her marriage signals something bigger, a major passage of time and a new phase in life — hers and yours. You're compelled to look reality in the face and realize that you're not thirty anymore, and your daughter is no kid.

You're Not Alone

All of this might be enough to make anyone feel a little long in the tooth and sorry for himself, but you've never heard anyone — not your friends, not your male relatives, not even any random guy on a talk show — admit to feeling sad over his daughter's marriage.

Well, that's 'cause they're men. And even if some male icon — a football coach or a real man's man action hero, or the President himself — were to present these feelings as valid and logical, many average men would just shrug and say, “Not me. I never felt that way.” This is not to say that men are so hardheaded that they won't admit when they're feeling sad about something, such as a child's wedding (though this may also be a valid argument in some cases). Generally speaking, men (even in this day and age) are simply not raised or encouraged to express their feelings, even to themselves.

Are you supposed to break down every barrier and express every emotion you're having, the second you're experiencing it? No. That would be swinging way too far to the opposite extreme. You simply need to know that what you're feeling is normal, and that you are not the only father of the bride who has moments when he wishes he could turn back the hands of time.

Nothing Bothers You

Take stock of yourself. Is your wife always wanting feedback from you, only to hear you say, “Whatever. Anything you want is fine with me”? When you disciplined your young kids, did the expression on your face ever change? When something major happens in your life — the loss of a loved one, or a huge promotion at work — do you feel…anything? Do you express it?

Some tips for getting a handle on your emotional state:

Acknowledge the hugeness of the day. This is it. Really. No matter how long your daughter's engagement was, no matter how young she seems to you, this is the day she's taking the plunge into marriage. Take some time to let that sink in.

Express yourself. Even if you're not given to showing emotion, don't bottle it up. You might end up seeming cranky or out of sorts, and that's not the image you want to project now.

Pull it together. Once you let those emotions fly, let them land, too. Your daughter is counting on you to be her rock in the weeks, days, and moments before she takes her vows. Get ahold of yourself well before you leave the house for the ceremony.

You want to hit some happy medium between being expressive and being overly emotional, especially on the day of the wedding. No bride wants a zombie dad walking her down the aisle, but on the other hand, no bride wants to be upstaged by a father who's hysterically crying his way to the front of the church.

If an overwhelming sadness hits you all at once on her wedding day, you'll have a fine balancing act to pull off. It's all right to give into that feeling — a little. You don't have the go-ahead to mope your way through the reception. If you've ignored those feelings until today, put off really expressing them until tomorrow. Your daughter is happy. Let her be happy. You can brood all you want when she takes off for her honeymoon. Add this to the long list of things you've suffered through for her.