Not all bachelor parties involve nakedness and booze. Your future son-in-law might have incredibly respectable friends and/or relatives who are looking to host a squeaky-clean bachelor party for him. How will these gatherings differ from the traditional stag? For starters, you can breathe a sigh of relief if strippers and belly shots aren't really your thing.

Guess Who's Coming?

The guest list for the kinder, gentler bachelor party may be scaled down somewhat to include only the groom's closest friends and family members. Mere acquaintances, coworkers, and neighbors of the groom will probably be eliminated from the guest list, since this party is really geared toward allowing your future son-in-law to be honored by the people closest to him. The nice thing about this kind of get-together is that it's planned to be appropriate for even the most conservative and/or innocent-minded invitees, so if you were worried about how the bride's eighty-year-old grandfather would fare at a traditional stag, you can stop fretting.

In Search of Male Bonding

While you may not approve of young men overindulging in alcohol, you might be amazed at how eliminating excessive booze from the equation makes a party drag, especially when all of the participants don't know each other well. The planners of a low-key bachelor party might decide, then, that dinner in a nice restaurant might be just the thing to keep everyone entertained for a couple of hours while celebrating with the groom-to-be. If the group is really on the small side, the host might shoot for an outing like golf, or an afternoon of deep-sea fishing, or a poker game. A mellow bachelor party needs an activity that allows everyone to talk, but also one that keeps everyone busy so that there aren't a whole lot of awkward silences — nothing kills a party faster.

Talk the Talk

Limit the amount of your conversation that directly deals with the wedding — unless the groom wants to hit all the high points of the plans. This is supposed to be a night for the guys to talk, and since it's a small group, this is a great time for everyone to really get to know each other. Not only will your family benefit from learning more about the groom, you'll also have the chance to really talk with his family and friends. You'll all be seeing each other at the wedding soon enough — wouldn't it be more fun to view them as friends during the reception than as strangers?

Talk about work, hobbies, sports, vacations, anything that opens the door to various points of view and further conversation. You want to help keep the conversation rolling, so try to have some topics for discussion at the ready, and try not to sound too rehearsed if you're forced to pull some of them out.

Going Coed?

Oh, no. You weren't even happy when colleges went coed, and you're not about to condone a coed bachelor/ette/family get-together. You're not doing it. You just won't hear of it. It's silly. Girls don't play poker.

Oh, lighten up. If it helps, you can think of this as a delayed engagement party. Going coed takes the strain off of you (if you happen to be a reluctant guest to the bachelor party), anyway. Sure, you'll be expected to partake in some male activities (like the aforementioned card game, or a rollicking discussion of women's driving and/or shopping habits), but the women will probably be planning activities for everyone. In addition, with more guests and another gender present, keeping the conversation going will be a breeze. You can also bet that a coed, cofamily bachelor/ette party will not be a wild affair, so if you were concerned about anyone losing their heads, you can rest easy now.