Might as well jump right into the clothing issue and address the topic of the tux. Many fathers simply do not want to wear a suit that they think will feel stiff and unreasonably uncomfortable. The thing is, if your daughter is having a formal wedding, and you're included in the wedding party (you're walking her down the aisle, or you are actively being referred to as father of the bride), you're going to have to bite the bullet on this one.

One of the Guys

Every member of a formal wedding party must be dressed appropriately, and that means tuxedos for the men. Depending on what kind of tux your future son-in-law has chosen, you could end up wearing a standard-cut dinner jacket, or he may want everyone in tails, top hats, and spats. You might feel as though he's going way overboard with this, but part of your job as father of the bride is not to make trouble over the tux.

If the wedding party is renting their tuxedos, all that's required of you is your physical presence for measurements about a month prior to the ceremony. You'll pick up the tux a day or two before the wedding. Don't try to squeeze this errand in on your way to the golf course; give yourself plenty of time to try on the entire suit and all the accessories. Minor adjustments can usually be made in the shop, but if someone goofed and ordered you pants that are eight inches too short, you'll be glad to know that the shop will hunt down the right size and have suitable trousers ready for you before you accompany your girl down the aisle.

Before you leave that shop, make sure you have everything in the garment bag, including your socks and shoes, so that you don't have to make an extra trip to retrieve them.

Buying Your Own Tux

Maybe you're thinking about buying a tuxedo for this wedding. You'd rather spend the money on a custom-fitted suit than rent one. That's well and good, as long as it matches the level of formality of the other tuxes — and your daughter agrees to it.

Usually the groom, the ushers, and the fathers are all expected to wear the same tuxedo at a formal wedding. The accessories may vary (the groom may wear a different vest, for example, or the fathers may wear different ties), but the jacket and pants are identical. Keep in mind that if you're the only man wearing a different tuxedo, you may stand out, not just at the wedding, but in any group photos.

If the ushers are wearing fairly standard tuxes and you're thinking of buying your own, do a little cost analysis. Renting a good tuxedo will run you close to a hundred bucks. Purchasing a good tuxedo will cost you several hundred dollars. If you know that you're going to need a tuxedo for some other formal events in the semi-near future (say, another daughter's wedding), it just might be more cost-effective to buy one.

Wearing Your Old Tux

Now, if you have a tuxedo up in the attic (or down in the basement) that you haven't worn since your own wedding, this is not the time to break it out of its dusty garment bag. For one thing, styles change, even for something as classic-looking as a tuxedo; and for another, chances are you aren't as rail thin as you were all those years ago (though in fairness, you were a little too thin way back then). This is not the fashion statement you want to make. Hit the tux shop and find something with a modern flair and an ample waistband.