Having a hard time even thinking about your daughter leaving your nest in order to make a nest with someone else? You're not alone. Many fathers feel the same way, especially if their daughter has heretofore not shown a great deal of get-up-and-go. If she's been perfectly content to live in your house, eat your food, and hit you up for fifty bucks every weekend, you might have a lot of reservations about her decision to get married. After all, you're thinking, she has no idea what it's like out there.

Or maybe your daughter is the exact opposite: she left home as soon as she could and was always incredibly independent, but suddenly, she's talking about acquiring a husband and a permanent address. She's only had to worry about herself up 'til now. You see this ending badly. How can you make sure she knows what she's getting into? (That's your job after all, isn't it?)

Of course, your daughter may be dealing with other life issues at this point, such as a remarriage or how to announce her engagement to her kids. If this sounds like your situation, flip to Chapter 8 for some helpful advice. Dads who are new to this topic, read on…

Give Her Some Credit

Your concerns may be valid, of course, but the crux of the issue is whether your daughter understands the seriousness and the size of the commitment she's about to make. Although it is, in fact, your job to guide her and to help her make the right decisions in life, it is not your job to tell her what she can and can't do in her adult life. You can't expect her to ever reach maturity if you're calling all the shots, no matter how good your intentions are.

If your daughter isn't quite taking the world by storm, but she does show signs of inching toward a deeper understanding of life (she knows, for example, that holding down a steady job is a definite bonus, and that buying twenty pairs of shoes in one afternoon is a definite no-no), she's probably already more grown up than you think. She may be young, she may even be a little silly, but she's got a brain up there (and she probably inherited your common sense, even if she hates to admit it — or show it).

She's Old Enough to Vote

Of course, many fathers panic when their youngish daughters have a whirlwind courtship and lightning-quick engagement. Actually, these same dads would probably be uncomfortable with the whole setup if they had known the prospective groom for five years. The issue here is their daughter's age. These dads lose sleep thinking about the myriad of possibilities: How can a girl who has just barely finished college (or hasn't yet) even think about marriage? She has her whole life ahead of her; she should be thinking about having some fun before she settles down.

Well, that decision isn't really yours to make. If everything else in the picture seems up to snuff (she's marrying a nice guy, and they have a plan as far as where they're going to live and how they're going to pay the bills), there isn't a whole lot to complain about. Keep in mind that somewhere, another father is experiencing the agony of watching his career-minded, well-off, thirtysomething daughter marry some creep because she wants to have a husband before she's forty.

She does have her whole life ahead of her: She's chosen to share it with a hardworking, decent man. Be happy that she's happy, even if you wish she would bum around Europe with her friends instead of getting hitched.