A Little Overprotective, Are Ya?
The mere mention of your name makes the boyfriends shake. The sound of your voice sends them running. If it were up to you (and your wife), your daughter would be living in an ivory tower. She's much too fragile to handle what the world has to offer, and you, quite frankly, can't bear the thought of her having to suffer through life's tough lessons. You'll take care of her by sheltering her.
Sound familiar? Are you constantly being told that you're way too overprotective? That if you don't cool it, your kids will never know anything about (or be able to handle) real life? Take this little quiz to find out where you fall in the scheme of fatherly surveillance. Be honest. Although many of these questions will refer to your daughter's childhood, you're looking for a pattern of behavior that you might very well be carrying on today without realizing it.
1. As a toddler, your daughter:
Played with the neighborhood kids at their houses.
Played at your home with neighborhood kids.
Wasn't allowed to play with the neighborhood ruffians.
2. As children, your kids were in the Emergency Room for:
Every cold, fever, and hangnail.
Broken bones and deep wounds.
You'd never let them into that germ-laden environment.
3. When your daughter first started talking about boys, your reply was:
“Boys are bad! Stay away!”
A reluctant, “All right…let's hear about these boys.”
Your daughter knows better than to bring up the topic around you.
4. As a teenager, your daughter was:
Rebellious
Quiet
Right next to you and your wife all the time.
If your teenage daughter never left the house, it might be because she was shy or because she was a homebody. But if she was never allowed to leave because you were too afraid of what might happen to her if she did…you were being overprotective.
5. When your daughter chose a college, you made sure it was:
The best you could afford.
Able to meet her needs — athletic, artistic, etc.
Right around the block. College campuses are dangerous places.
While it's completely understandable that you'd want your child to be safe, keeping her at arm's length isn't the only way to do this. In fact, if you've never let her out of your sight, you've kind of set her up for a lifetime of depending on you…which is being overprotective.
6. In college, your daughter brought home her boyfriends for the weekend.
True
False
7. Your daughter's boyfriend, James, has just asked for your permission to marry her. In response, you said:
“Tell me about your plans for the future, Jimbo.”
“Get out of my house!”
“I gotta tell you, Jim, that you aren't really my daughter's type. She likes much taller, smarter, richer men. So that settles that.”
8. Your daughter is talking about this wonderful man she's met and how she thinks he might be The One. Your first thought:
No thoughts. You choose to roll your eyes instead.
“He's probably just going to break her heart.”
“Great! Look how happy she is!”
9. She's bound and determined to marry this guy. Your last resort is to:
Accept it and support her decision.
Have him checked out.
Pay this guy off so that he leaves town.
10. Your daughter has taken her vows, she's back from the honeymoon, and she's in tears. Apparently, she's having second thoughts. You:
Clear out her old room and insist that she come home. You were right!
Tell her to find her husband and work things out.
Hand her over to her mother — you don't know how to handle this.
