The Feeling Triad in Relationships
It all started when they felt rejected by their parents or parental figures and assumed, on some level, that it was their fault. As a result, Twos, Threes, and Fours basically developed feeling complexes. To cope, they surrendered important parts of themselves to create what they thought were more attractive, agreeable person as in hopes their parental figures, and everyone who comes after, would love them more. Unfortunately, feeling rejected resulted in deep emotional wounds that became an ongoing problem. And all three feeling types struggle with the hostility that grew out of feeling rejected by denying it, suppressing it, disowning it, expressing it inappropriately, or turning it against themselves.
All three feeling types have problems with who they are and how they cope with unbridled anger, resentment, or scary feelings, particularly rejection or abandonment. Everyone covers over their real self or essence to some degree, but far more than others, Twos, Threes, and Fours repress or distort huge parts of themselves to accommodate others or to become what they think a potential partner wants.
Twos coped by forming an image of being so completely loving, generous, and thoughtful that everyone would surely love them. Threes coped by forming an image of external success that they thought would guarantee them love. Fours coped by forming an image of being special and hypersensitive that made it hard for anyone to get close to them and thus unable to reject them. And all three types are always comparing themselves to other people and falling short in their own minds.
