Threes are in the central position in the heart-centered, feeling, or relationship Triad. At an early age, Threes had an uncanny ability to know what their parents wanted from them, and they learned to use that information to replicate behavior that induced love or admiration from their primary caretakers. Threes adapted to their early environment by giving their sense of self-worth over to others and by being willing to work for any length of time to succeed. Threes typically don't define their own idea of success but form it in reaction to external markers: smiles and hugs, then later grades, trophies, medals, credentials, and applause.

Eventually Threes surrendered their real feelings to become or behave as the type of person they felt would make the greatest impression or win the greatest accolades. In other words, they valued the appearance of what they could make others think they were far more than what they actually were. They played whatever role would get them what they wanted, even when they had to expend a lot of energy suppressing a strong, nagging feeling that they were phonies.

Threes eventually blur the lines between what they really feel and what they think they should feel to maintain an impressive persona. They lose touch with their genuine feelings, or become so confused they lose the ability to readily identify what they are feeling in the moment.

In relationships, Threes play the role they think will win your heart. But once they have you, they latch on and their dark side soon emerges. If the Three is relatively integrated, he is authentic and there will be no nasty surprises. However, if he is pathological Three, once he can no longer hold the mask over his face, he is likely to become a sadistic sociopath.