The Six Child
Because they often have a true flip side to their personality, Six children can be the most complex types in the Enneagram. Six children are often either insecure, nervous and focused on everything that could possibly go wrong, or they are supremely confident that they are right and you are wrong and not afraid to loudly tell you so. They can flip back and forth or linger in one or the other mindset forever.
When they are afraid, Six children may compile a list of safety precautions and drive you crazy with a string of what ifs. Or they may grit their teeth and face the challenge head on, taking risks that will make you squirm. They often manage to confuse themselves by overthinking, but if you make a suggestion and they feel restricted, they may rebel for the sake of rebelling.
How to nurture a Six child: Provide a safe, sane, quiet, and secure environment. Be consistent with expectations and let her know what to expect ahead of time. Get her out of her head and into her body, and encourage her to expand her idea of herself. Help her find balance and become more comfortable with her emotions. Help her quell her anxiety from the inside out, and point out her competencies and achievements so she develops the ability to trust she will make it in the world.
Some behavioral problems that may indicate possible danger ahead when it comes to raising Six children:
Even the simplest decisions seem to be too much for them.
They may develop nervous habits like biting their nails or twisting their hair.
They can be fearful to the point of not wanting to participate in normal activities.
They may break all the rules and say things to shock or anger you.
They refuse to do their normal chores and become hostile when asked about them.
They will often get angry if asked to do things that frighten them.
They are clearly anxious, fearful, or nervous about what could happen.
Their anxiety is out of proportion to what is occurring.
Six children felt unsafe in their early environments and coped by watching what happens like a hawk and anticipating worst-case scenarios. They are the worrywarts who will have a hundred reasons why they shouldn't go to summer camp. Or, if they are fighting rather than succumbing to their fears, they may be daredevils who indulge in risky behavior to prove to themselves and others that they aren't afraid. A Six child needs at least one, and preferably two, steadying parents who can help the sensitive Six overcome her fears and truly blossom.
