What It's Like to Love a Five
Fives are often brilliant, inventive thinkers and scholars who gravitate toward science, math, or some other intellectually challenging profession that accommodates solitude and utilizes their overactive brains. Their quiet, reserved, and centered countenance often makes them very attractive, but Fives can be powerhouses in the intellectual realm and stunted in the emotional realm. They are reluctant to form relationships and are not very good at successfully maintaining them. Fives would rather intellectualize and think through problems than get down to the nitty-gritty, messy emotions involved and battle it out. Fives may also spend so much time reading and improving their knowledge base that they tend to neglect relationships.
Intimacy feels risky to Fives, who will only cautiously enter relationships in which they are permitted sufficient time alone, independence, and autonomy. Anyone who makes demands will be kept at arm's length or avoided altogether. Generally, they choose relationships that they can wrap their mind around and justify intellectually — such as someone who meets some of their physical needs but does not require a deep emotional engagement. They don't like feeling strong emotions, and if spooked they will cower from a blossoming romance or commitment and will run away from conflict. When they are hurt, rather than express their feelings, they retreat to sort it out intellectually and will too easily chalk it up to poor communication.
What you'll love about Fives:
They can absolutely dazzle you with their brilliance and their commitment to knowledge.
They have a strong, quiet center that implies exceptional wisdom and confidence.
They are often unusually rooted, structured, and serene.
What you see is what you get; there are few surprises.
They can be real homebodies and make few demands on your time.
They typically have a storehouse of knowledge, are usually intellectually invigorating, and can participate in multilayered conversations.
They can be witty and entertaining, like a normally shy and reclusive Johnny Carson when the camera is switched on.
What will drive you crazy about Fives:
They would rather bury their heads in a book than talk, especially when you're upset.
They may lord their intelligence over you, constantly correct you, or imply that you are dumb.
They may think they know better than you or anyone else.
They often become very fixed in the way they think and live life.
They typically don't like social occasions and rarely want to do anything adventurous.
They may suffer from a deeply ingrained fear of never having enough and can be miserly with money and affection.
Their fantasy life can be more real to them than their life with you.
They can demand so much privacy that you will feel neglected or even shut out.
Self-actualized Fives are also slow to connect but in a healthy way. When they decide on someone, they make long-term commitments and remain faithful and trustworthy. They may fall short when it comes to being verbally or physically expressive, but they show their undying affection and appreciation in quiet ways.
