The Process of Individuation or Self-Actualization
According to Jung, individuation occurs when you successfully separate your personality from that of your parents and become an integrated personality — becoming what or who you were born to be, what you were before you formed an ego or persona, or suppressed negative behaviors in your shadow.
The individuation process is a lifelong, ongoing process or quest. Through therapy or active self-development using introspection and conscious choice, you can work toward the unveiling of your shadow, the unraveling your persona, and the integration of your psyche.
Basically, when merging aspects of Jungian theory with Enneagram theory, one could presuppose that when things in your life are going really well, you are ripe for expansion and are more likely to progress toward individuation and self-actualization by adopting behaviors that support forward movement. On the other hand, when you feel insecure or are under severe stress, you are more likely to regress from the goal of individuation and self-actualization by adopting behaviors that allow you to cope but that do not necessarily help you progress toward health.
Again, in some instances, you may uncover traits inherent in your stress point that help you grow during times of extreme stress, e.g., you might both cope and progress toward health by discovering determination, integrity, or industry in your stress point.
FIGURE 7-1 Enneatype Two: security point = Four, stress point = Eight
How Twos Progress
Twos progress toward individuation by adapting behaviors common to self-searching Fours who love to probe their own feelings in an effort to gain self-awareness and understanding. These self-actualizing Twos learn to accept the light and the dark side of their emotions, and this willingness to achieve emotional integrity offers them new opportunities to experience all of their emotions.
They learn to love themselves — and others — unconditionally, allowing them to love others in a healthier way, which then inspires others to love them — just as they are. Self-actualizing Twos also gain an ability to channel their feelings into creative projects and expand their intuitive understanding of themselves and others.
When Twos adopt positive or progressive behaviors from Eight, they gain Eight's gumption and assertiveness, which helps them learn to identify their needs and pursue them proactively. With Eight energy on their side, Twos no longer have to resort to covert manipulation to get their needs met.
How Twos Regress
When Twos disintegrate to Four, they become full of a sense of entitlement, for themselves or others, similar to the way a demanding stage mother fully expects her child to be the star — whether or not she's the most talented. Some authors refer to a “me first” syndrome for Twos who take on the low side of Four.
Twos regress toward pathological, confrontational, combative Eights. They abandon the charming behavior designed to make them look good for rude, far more abrupt behavior. When stressed, particularly about money, they obsessively work, want full credit for whatever they do, brag about their accomplishments, and boss people around. When stressed, they may lose control and denigrate others in a last-chance, desperate attempt to control them.
Like Eights, they often lose their temper quickly and lash out verbally or physically. When they want something, they will go after it aggressively. If they feel rejected or spurned, pathological Twos are apt to apply physical and emotional intimidation more common to a pathological eight to try to force someone to love them. The sacrificial lambs who so desperately wanted to be seen as admirable martyrs are now very capable of becoming ruthlessly assertive and dominating.