Ego-driven Twos love loving others, but they often do so because they need reassurance that they themselves are lovable. Because they need to see themselves as “good people,” they often spend more time talking about all the good they do than actually doing good. Rather than focusing their love outward (like self-actualized Twos), ego-driven Twos develop inflated egos — shining the light on themselves, extolling their own virtues, and ignoring their own faults. They are still capable of actually loving people, but they also now occasionally dislike them. Because they cannot admit negative feelings, they bury their conflicting feelings in servitude designed to make you need them and admire them. As a result, when they do help others there is a sneaking suspicion that ulterior motives are at work.

Ego-driven Twos see themselves as exemplary mothers, fathers, or bosses because they “love you so much” and “only want what is best for you” (particularly when it is decidedly not what is best for you, such as remaining dependent upon them, or failing to develop self-mastery or confidence in your own abilities). Unfortunately, their ego needs create caricatures of stereotypical codependent mothers or fathers who hover constantly (foisting food, affection, money, or attention upon you), act as if you are the center of their universe, complain that you don't appreciate them, and all the while do not see how they manipulate and use you to get the attention they insatiably crave. They need you to need them, and they will defend their idea that they are giving out of the goodness of their hearts, for your own good, in the face of evidence to the contrary, repeatedly deluding themselves about their own behavior and how hurtful it can be to others. They need you to need them so that they can feel important, secure, and good about themselves; and they need you to pretend that they are the center of your universe.

Ego-driven Twos blindly consider themselves virtuous and admirable, but their loved ones often feel cajoled and manipulated, particularly when asked to consistently flatter the ego-driven Two. Because they are highly sensitive to other people's feelings, they monitor your moods, reactions, and feelings and willfully trample your emotional boundaries — interfering without being asked, dispensing unwanted advice, and imposing themselves to the point of becoming sacrificial martyrs who invent needs to fulfill so they can feel needed.

Coincidentally, the loss of boundaries cuts both ways. Twos will allow themselves to be seduced or taken advantage of, and when they feel invaded and unappreciated, they turn around and invade the boundaries of others. Eventually, their excessive ego needs become pedantic and tiring.

Ego-driven Twos also develop lax emotional boundaries that result in their weeping and wailing on other people's shoulders, often when completely uninvited to do so. When meeting you for the first time, as soon as they decide they want you to like them, they act like they already love you — often to the point of inappropriately touching, hugging, and kissing you.

Because they need to feel like they are very loving people whose real value comes from self-sacrifice, they need you to praise them constantly, and often brag about how truly incredible they are and how much everyone just adores them. Even though their psychic pain is obvious to others, these self-defended Twos simply don't see it or feel it, which means their unacknowledged neediness prevents honest exchanges about real feelings. Unfortunately, they can become so needy that they will grovel at the feet of anyone who falsely flatters them, leading them into abusive relationships as well as sexual, overeating, shopping, gambling, drug, or drinking addictions. They can also become addicted to serving others and will often spend so much time seeking fulfillment that, ironically, their family ends up feeling neglected or even emotionally and physically abandoned.