According to Jung's personality theory, psyches are constantly flowing between two extremes, and your primary task is to successfully balance the two polarities. To achieve individuation, each personality has to acknowledge and work through the limitations of its idealized self and shadow; its strengths and weaknesses, and its motivations and fixations (what keeps it stuck).

Shadow and Idealized Self

Every personality forms an inner world that reflects how it feels about itself and an outer world that projects what it wants others to know about it. Jung would also refer to these worlds as the shadow, or hidden, traits that your psyche squelches and does not want the outer world to see, and the idealized self, what your psyche creates and wants the outer world to see.

A Six's shadow hides his rigidity, the same rigidity that leads to a dogmatic approach to life. Sixes would rather that no one knows how truly insecure they feel. Unfortunately, they are indecisive, second-guess themselves and others, and worry about inconsequential things. They are often overly analytical, overprotective, shallow, and narrow-minded. Sixes like to hide their paranoia and their secret attachment to revenge. When provoked, Sixes can become extremely belligerent and aggressive, two qualities they would rather you didn't see.

A Six's idealized self is someone very capable of committing to worthy endeavors. Their values are in line and integrated, which provides them with courage to make decisions, act responsibly, and sustain positive loyalty. Optimum Sixes are mentally acute, conscientious, persevering, and extraordinarily reliable. Confident Sixes make strong leaders who will support, sustain, and inspire everyone in the organization from the bottom up. Sixes at their best are comfortable in their own skin, which makes them very charming and sociable.

Turn-Ons and Turnoffs

According to Jung, libido is not connected to our sex drive alone, but instead refers to your overall psychic energy or what gives your personality juice. The opposite of what turns you on would be what turns you off. To individuate, Sixes need to seek balance between these two polarities. More than any other enneatype, Sixes struggle between whether they should adhere to an inner or an outer authority. To cope with their phobic fear, Sixes commonly surrender their power to an external authority. But when tension develops, they flip into counterphobic behavior and attack the very authority figure they had been relying upon for direction.

Sixes are happiest when they feel that they can truly trust other people, as well as themselves, to behave properly and do the right thing. They like people who behave responsibly toward each other and the world, and they love discovering a philosophy or religious belief system that fully sustains and supports their view of the world. They love opportunities to use their sharpened intellect and pride themselves on always knowing the right answer.

Sixes hate it when anyone betrays their confidences or sabotages them. Also, they feel pressured if people clamor for an immediate answer without giving them time to investigate or review all the pertinent factors that weigh into a decision. They also get hot under the collar when people ignore their needs, or when they can't trust others to do the right thing.

Fear and Security

These basic and very essential characteristics determine how Sixes approach, live in, and eventually conquer their worlds. Fears stop you short and often cause you to regress, and you rarely progress unless you feel a certain sense of security about yourself or your circumstances.

Because they lack sufficient self-confidence or faith in their own abilities, one of a Six's deepest fears is that they cannot survive on their own. They don't trust their own instincts and live in fear of making mistakes or failing at important tasks. They always feel that they aren't good enough and crave the approval of others; they often seek help making even simple decisions. Sixes are afraid that they aren't safe anywhere, that they can't trust anyone, that they will be left alone with their own devices and be caught short, and that they will fall into a dark hole and not be able to find their way out without a guide, counselor, protector, or true friend.

Sixes feel secure when they know that they can rely on their exceptional intelligence and ability to see everything that is going on to analyze every situation. If they can anticipate what's going to happen and manipulate people and events so that they feel safer, they'll feel like they can make it in this dangerous, unpredictable world. They feel more secure when they belong to, trust in, and dogmatically follow a religious, political, or social philosophy.

Motivations and Fixations

Being motivated or stuck relates to how Sixes use or ignore their psychic energy. Knowing their primary motivations and what Sixes cling to within their own personality that either helps them progress toward individuation or keeps them stuck in fixations helps you understand how their personality functions.

Sixes have a burning desire to achieve some sense of lasting security and thus constantly search for someone or something that they believe virtually guarantees them a safe journey through life. If they find someone or something to believe in, they throw all of their weight behind it and become the most devoted and loyal supporters. They also want to achieve a clearly delineated place in the hierarchy of whatever organization they work for or participate in. Their desire to be in control of their feelings leads them to gain as much knowledge as possible.

When Sixes blindly obey rules and laws, they surrender both their opinions and their free choice for the sake of social congruity. This prevents them from developing trust in their own instincts, perceptions, or abilities and often leaves them feeling groundless in the face of indecision. Sixes get stuck whenever they allow their fear of calamity to smother any sense of security or self-reliance. Whenever they weigh too many conceivable consequences before undertaking even small risks, or always want to know what everyone else is thinking before they express an opinion, Sixes are dragging an oar in the water.

Coping and Failing

This coping-failing dichotomy has to do with the behaviors Sixes adopt to cope with their lives, or maintain the status quo, and how those same behaviors can lead to a failure to grow into their full potential.

Sixes learn to quell their fears by thoroughly investigating and questioning conventional wisdom before making up their own minds. They protect themselves by devoting themselves to what they are certain are good people and good causes, and then proving to them that they are reliable, trustworthy, and decent. Following traditions, keeping their schedules packed to avoid overthinking or worrying, supporting leaders they have learned to trust, and feeling a part of a community all help Sixes deal with anxiety.

The worst thing Sixes do to themselves is blame themselves for what happened to them in their childhood and any other transgressions or overstepping of boundaries that others perpetuated. Sixes fail themselves when they get trapped in their own mind — always considering a multitude of options, imagining the worst, and expecting disaster. They rely almost solely on their mind instead of reaching out to others and building strong relationships based on common human fallibility. They have difficulty figuring out how they really feel (as opposed to think). They resist new ideas and question the need to do anything different.

Falling Apart and Transcending

Each enneatype has a unique way of falling apart. The types each have specific needs they need fulfilled, or mental concepts they can embrace, before they can successfully transcend their ego limitations and become fully integrated and whole.

When Sixes come unglued, they walk around in a state of constant anxiety that can manifest in being completely phobic and paranoid or being completely rebellious and belligerent. They may rebel against the very authority they have long followed and question everything and everyone that they used to believe in. They could shrink from normal activities and cower from even slight challenges. They actively push people away by becoming overly critical, acerbic, and confrontational. When angered, disintegrating Sixes will use their sharp wit to intentionally wound someone else's ego. Sixes with their backs to the wall may become so afraid that they have trouble leaving the house, or they may project their problems onto a scapegoat and then behave sadistically toward them.

Sixes transcend their ego limitations when they realize that they were not responsible for how their parents behaved and that whatever happened was outside their control. If they also realize that the world is filled with decent, honest, trustworthy people whom they can both truly rely upon and trust, they can let down their guard and allow their best qualities to blossom. When they do, they can discover that other people like, value, and trust them for who they are and not who they think they have to be. If Sixes inhabit their own bodies and stop their mind from interfering with feeling their feelings, they can integrate body, mind, and soul to become a whole, centered human being.