Ones frequently come from families in which they perceived that the father, or whoever served as the disciplinarian, failed to fulfill his fatherly duties. The One's paternal figure may have been stern, judgmental, and rigid; verbally, emotionally, or physically abusive; alcoholic; emotionally unavailable; punishing; physically absent; or simply inept. Even if a father was physically and emotionally present, a One child basically received a spoken, or unspoken, message that he was not acceptable as he was, and that he must constantly strive to behave more appropriately or appear perfect.

The blow could have come in the form of regular sharp criticism that left One children feeling humiliated, as if there were something critically wrong with them — something they must control or hide if they wanted to avoid rejection or expulsion from the family. Their parents may have heavy-handedly enforced a strict moral code that forbade normal, healthy human appetites and left One children feeling impure, dirty, or simply too impulsive for their own good.

Since most One children felt that they couldn't rely on their fathers, or authority figures, they established their own rules of conduct and internalized a moral compass that they then used to monitor and judge their own and others' behavior. Ones often judged others harshly if they didn't possess the level of commitment, conviction, or activism that Ones believed was necessary. This sense of self-justification formed their identity and affected how they dealt with emotions.

Ones internalized rules so deeply they felt guilty for very forgivable “sins,” such as eating two pieces of cake in one sitting or speaking out of turn. Eventually, Ones felt angry toward the father or authority figure in their lives, but they repressed what they perceived as dangerous, dark emotions and punished themselves for failing to meet their own internal codes for acceptable behavior or only feeling acceptable emotions. Any angry or overly emotional outbursts occurred when they had already disappointed themselves to the breaking point and lost control.