Fat camps. Weigh-ins. The stares. It's awful for kids to be overweight, even though it's more and more common. A child is no more responsible for her weight than she is for her way of life or for her choice of foods. Kids move as much as they re given the opportunity to.

Of course, some children's genetics predispose them to weight problems, and if you are a family member, you probably struggle with those issues, too. The most important thing you can do as a parent is simply offer your children as many healthy and nutritious foods as possible. Also, if they want to eat a fun snack or treat, let them, being sure to control the amount they eat, as well as making sure that the “treat” isn't too unhealthy. For example, a small piece of chocolate is better than a highly processed fruit snack.

Withholding the foods other kids eat will only make them want it more, and at the same time, not teach them how to eat proper servings as well as how to deal with their cravings.

Also, teach your kids about their bodies. Don't assume that because they are kids they can't handle nutritional information. Teach them about servings, nutrients, calories, and exercise. Let them know what they can control about their weight and what they can't. In other words, explain that exercise and food can contribute to their weight, but that they can't be taller or change their shape very dramatically.

While this should go without saying, remember that no one — adult or child — has ever lost weight and kept it off because they have been humiliated or because someone else controlled their food intake. In fact, studies have shown that children whose parents curtail their diets grow up to be overweight. It is far better to have a child respond to his or her own hunger — if they are kept active and engaged in activities — than to worry about dieting and weight.

These days, both boys and girls suffer from body image problems and eating disorders. Girls perceive themselves to be fat and do anything to be thin, while boys can have the problem of either being skinny and wanting to be muscular, or want to be thinner because they think they need to lose a few pounds.

Here are some signs that your child has an eating disorder:

• preoccupation with weight, food, calories, and dieting

• exercise is excessive and rigid even if your child is fatigued, ill, hurt, or the weather is very bad

• your child constantly complains about being fat even though she is at a normal weight

• your child compares her body to others

• evidence of vomiting, such as smells in the bathroom

• your child disappears after meals

• your child uses laxatives, diuretics, diet pills, or enemas

• your child seems to consume large amounts of food but doesn't gain weight

• your child hoards food

• fluctuating weight

• cessation or erratic menstrual cycles

• obsession with appearance as a definition of self and perfectionist thinking

• refusal to eat meals with family

• food rituals, such as eating a very limited variety of foods and cutting food into small pieces.

If you suspect your child has an eating disorder or is using steroids or other supplements to build muscle or gain or lose weight, maintain clear, kind and decisive communication without blaming, anger, or pity. Talk to your child about her life without focusing on food; expect your child to eat with your family (you eat together, right?), but don't demand that she eat; be physically affectionate and loving.

Don't demand that your child gain weight, and don't blame the child and tell her she is responsible for family problems or your problems. Don't allow her eating problem to dominate the family's eating schedule. Get her into therapy and under a doctor's care and then let her work the problem out with your support, not under your control.