Sex, dreams, and Freud—the three words seem intricately linked. According to Sigmund Freud, all of our dreams are filled with sexual issues. Freud lived during the Victorian era, when talk of sex was taboo, and his ideas helped free the Western world from the repressive strictures of the time.
However, his view that the sex drive powers virtually all of our dreams is no longer accepted. In fact, some dream researchers now believe that some sex dreams may not have anything to do with sex. Sex dreams can be immensely helpful in recognizing and overcoming inhibitions. If you've had a sex dream, for example, that included the appearance of one or both of your parents, here are some questions you should ask yourself:
Is there some belief, fear, or expectation you learned from your parents that tends to intrude into your awareness when you make love?
Is there a sense in which you believe your fulfillment might be disloyal or damaging to your parents?
Were you more worried about your parents’ presence than about your sexual fulfillment? If so, do you worry about their opinions more than is objectively necessary?
You may recognize a familiar theme in some of the following sexual dreams. You and your dreams are unique, so think of these interpretations as starting points, not conclusions. Read the following, and compare them to your dreams:
Searching for a place to make love: You search from house to house, town to town. The dream is more about the search for a place than about the sex itself. Such dreams are a metaphor for a search for intimacy.
Making love, but stopping short of climax: In this dream, you're left unfulfilled. It starts out promising, but just fizzles out, leaving you frustrated and angry. This dream symbolizes a lack of fulfillment and a frustration in life that may have nothing at all to do with your sex life. Look at recent events in your life. What has left you frustrated?
Making love in a public place: Others observe your performance. This dream dramatically calls your attention to a public action in your life. What is it that you recently did in public or are about to do? Take a close look at the event. Look at other aspects of the dream. Who is your partner? How is that person involved in the public event in your waking life? If the person has no connection with the event, what does that person symbolize?
Pay close attention to how you feel about sex! Chances are that if you think something is “dirty” or “wrong,” it will come up in your dreams—your mind will liberate what your body won't. Deal with your issues when they come up!
People recovering from illness, depression, surgery, or the grieving process for a broken relationship, for example, may suddenly and inexplicably begin having erotic dreams. Although they may follow physical recovery in some cases, such dreams appear to be associated with an increase in physical vitality and a greater sense of liveliness. The dreamer is often struck with the irony of the situation, considering his or her recent physical challenges. These dreams serve as reminders that, although you've been through hell, you're still very much alive.