Many sexual dreams are a commentary on your past and present relationships. These dreams often feature past lovers. In the most outrageous ones, all of your past lovers show up at the same party or in the same bed. The function of this dream is to help you analyze past involvements that continue to impact current relationships.
Here's a dream with a different plot, but a similar theme. The dreamer, Bill, was a thirty-three-year-old engineer who had never been married. The title of this dream is “The Vanishing Lover”:
Everything starts out great. I'm with Sharon, a woman I've known through business for several months. I'm very attracted to her, and now we're in a romantic setting. We both know what we want, and neither of us has any inhibitions. But just as I become fully aroused, Sharon starts to disappear. All of my efforts to keep her from vanishing fail. Sharon simply evaporates.
For Bill, the dream is more about a pattern in his life than a statement about Sharon. He has rarely had a sexual relationship last longer than a few months. Part of Bill's problem, he admits, is that he only likes the exciting early sexual encounters with a new mate. Once the woman starts to become part of his life, his interest fades. Maybe he's not ready for something serious. Or maybe this dream is a big signpost that he needs to work on his issues so that, when the right woman comes along, he'll be ready.
It's important to look for patterns that mark your relationships—especially if you've had a series of unsuccessful relationships or affairs that began filled with promise but ended badly. Until you change the way you handle things, it will keep coming up in your dreams.
You may have had a sex dream that you think concerns your relationship patterns. This exercise will help you understand the meaning of such a dream so that you can get to the bottom of your real feelings and learn from them. Answer these questions honestly to uncover your relationship trends:
What is the dream telling you about your past or present partner(s)?
What is the dream telling you about yourself?
Are you frustrated with difficulties in finding a permanent partner?
Do you find that your relationships begin in a promising manner and then just fall apart?
What is the significant pattern that the dream reveals?
Do you look at your partner through rose-colored glasses until you become close to him or her?
Do you jump too quickly into relationships?
Were you too critical of past lovers?
Does your current lover take advantage of you? Did your past lovers take advantage of you?