At this point you're convinced you've taken all possible steps to save the marriage, and they didn't work. You've made the difficult decision that your marriage is probably over and you want to separate and probably divorce. Now you need to tell your spouse. There is not a right time to do this, and the longer you drag it out, the harder it will likely be on your spouse. Be sensitive because your spouse may be taken by surprise, especially if there's been denial about marital problems.