Talking to Your Children
Now that the divorce is over, you're ready to have a heart-to-heart talk with your children. With any luck, your own psyche is in pretty good shape, and you can tell the kids again that the divorce wasn't their fault. Tell them you love them — you can never do this too often. You can emphasize that your ex-spouse is a good person who loves them, too, and explain the parenting arrangement that has been worked out.
Never give papers from the divorce to your children to read or leave them out where the children can find them. Children have enough to deal with and they will not understand how their parents could say such terrible things about one another. Don't enmesh them in the adult details of a divorce.
If your kids are of appropriate maturity, ask them for input and help in making the schedule work. This doesn't mean you have to follow every request or suggestion they make. Children often feel they have to say what one parent or the other wants to hear after a divorce. They may tell you one thing and your ex another. That doesn't necessarily mean your ex is behind their change of heart. It could just mean your children are doing the best they can not to upset anyone.
