What about a Separation?
If you're not sure that a divorce is in your future, you can also consider a separation. If you have talked to your spouse and you both have doubts about a divorce, you might suggest a trial separation. A trial separation period can allow you both time to decide whether to make it permanent. Separation from your spouse can provide some time to think about the marriage, the children, and the finances. Think of it as a trial period, a test run to see if your problems are really so bad that there is no hope for your marriage. Since a separation of this type does not have any legal status, you need to make sure that you have agreed about the details.
Where will the children live? How much time will they spend with each parent?
If one spouse earns more than the other, what amount should they contribute to the other's expenses?
If there are joint debts, how will they be paid and by whom?
If you have joint financial accounts, will they be separated or maintained, and by whom?
There will be a thousand details to resolve along the way, so it's important to try and keep the lines of communication open. You must have a clear and comprehensive understanding of your assets and debts for this to be a good option. There are no legal protections when you separate voluntarily, so if your spouse spends all the money, there may be nothing you can do about it.
Even if you think everything you want is in the separation agreement, you should consult a lawyer. The last thing you want at the time of a divorce is for the support provisions in your agreement to be invalid. If this happens you could end up paying double the amount to which you had agreed.
Most states provide a formal mechanism for couples to enter into a separation by agreement, usually referred to as a separation agreement. What this means is that the parties would put in writing all the things they have agreed to regarding sharing of children and division of assets. The agreement is absolutely binding on the parties, so you should not sign a document of this kind without having it reviewed by a lawyer.
The separation agreement option offers couples a more formal way to separate, which can be revoked should they choose to reconcile. In some states, an agreement of this kind, when made pursuant to the laws of the state, can substitute for fault after a given time period and can be easily used and incorporated into a divorce.
