Before making any decisions, get some legal advice. The best place to get legal advice is from a family or divorce lawyer. This seems pretty obvious, but many people get their information from friends, family, clergy, and even their local librarian!

Do not seek legal advice from your friends and family. Do not ask your hairdresser for help. In fact, do not ask your friends and family for advice about your divorce, period. Some of your friends may have gone through a divorce. Their information will be based on their experiences, and their situations were different from yours.

Use Friends and Family for Support

Friends and family mean well, but they just can't give you the advice you need. They are biased in your favor. They are most likely not divorce lawyers, and they don't — or shouldn't — have all the facts of your marriage. If you haven't discussed separation or divorce with your spouse, you sure don't want someone else to break the news.

You should use friends and family as your support system. They can be there for you when you're feeling low, help with the kids, and maybe provide financial assistance. Keep your focus on maintaining their friendship and support; try not to force your friends to take sides. You may want to work with your therapist on managing your need to vent appropriately.

Arm Yourself with Knowledge

You need to know whether it's safe to move out with the kids or whether the law will see this act as abandoning your spouse. You need to know what kind of support you are entitled to. You need to know how you will meet your financial needs during the separation. You need to know how to protect the assets of the marriage.

You and your lawyer need to talk about these matters as they apply to you. You need to hear about the laws of divorce and separation in your state. This knowledge will give you a better sense of the many issues you need to address.