Some Final Thoughts
When parents amicably negotiate a parenting arrangement, they can put together a plan that works. They can take into account distances, work schedules, family traditions, special activities, children's preferences, and everyone's needs. They can build flexibility into their plan and agree to make changes as their lives change and as their children's needs and interests change.
As children get older, they tend to get very busy with school, activities, and friends. In fact, teenagers often aren't very interested in spending time with their parents, particularly if they are always arguing over transfers and parenting time.
As things change, reasonable parents work with the realities of their lives and their children's lives. On the other hand, an angry parent has a much harder time focusing on reality and on her children. All she wants to do is hurt the other parent, regardless of what that may do to the children. She takes custody issues to court over and over again because she and the other parent can't cooperate in developing a parenting plan. She is constantly messing around with child support and spousal maintenance to try to cause an economic crisis. Often, she isn't really interested in rearing her children anyway. She just wants to make life miserable for her ex-spouse.
Try to put this whole parenting thing into perspective. Your children will be grown and on their own before you know it. The years that fall within the court's jurisdiction are a small percentage of your years as a parent. After they are grown there will be engagements, weddings, baby showers, grandparenting, and a whole host of other events that can be joyful times for families. You can lay a positive foundation for many years of enjoying your children and grandchildren after they become adults. The choice is yours. One fact is certain, though. As your children become adults, it is now their choice when and how much to include you in their lives.
