The Temporary Hearing
If you've chosen to go to court, at some point you'll actually have to go to the courthouse for your first hearing before a judge.
Sometimes both sides show up unprepared at the temporary hearing, which is a bad idea in most courts. The judge can assess fines and court costs to anyone who shows up unprepared. And the judge has a long memory, so you don't want to annoy the person who will ultimately decide your case.
Before the Hearing
You and your lawyer will go to the courtroom where your motion is to be heard. Your spouse and lawyer will be there, too, and maybe your spouse's parent (for moral support) or your spouse's new love interest (just to get you upset). This ploy usually works. It's not uncommon for people waiting outside the court to lose control during this time of high stress and emotional volatility, so court administration usually assigns a number of deputy sheriffs to the family court. The presence of uniformed officers helps to keep things calm, and the officers are trained to respond quickly if folks get out of control.
It's best to come to court with only your lawyer and any expert who may present information at the hearing. Family and friends may increase the tension and be a distraction.
During the Hearing
Say your hearing is scheduled for 2
Never bring children to a court hearing unless the judge has specifically asked to see them. Divorce is stressful enough for children without making them active participants in your war with their other parent. Courts do not look kindly on parents who bring their children to court
The lawyers introduce themselves, and then your lawyer argues on behalf of your motions. Your spouse's lawyer responds. Maybe each lawyer responds to the other's arguments. After the judge has heard both sides, she can make a ruling from the bench or tell everyone that she will take the matter under advisement and issue an order within a specified time period. You're dismissed and leave the courtroom.
In some jurisdictions, the temporary hearing may be much less formal. It may begin with the judge speaking only with the attorneys. Each side presents their case and the judge may decide to issue a temporary order or set down one or more issues for a hearing where she will take testimony from the parties. After discussing things with the attorneys, you and your spouse will be called into the courtroom and be told about the decision and the need for a hearing. In some cases, the judge may want to ask you or your spouse a question to gather more information before making a decision. Your lawyer should talk to you ahead of time to let you know how the court in your jurisdiction usually handles temporary hearings.
After the Hearing
Well, how about that! Your heart was beating a mile a minute, your future was on the line, and you didn't get to say a word. Not only that, your lawyer didn't point out all the lies in your spouse's affidavit and didn't even argue some of the points you thought were important. And the judge has a specified time period to issue an order? What are you supposed to do in the meantime?
Your lawyer assures you the hearing went well and tells you to be patient and wait for the judge's order.
The Judge Issues a Temporary Order
Eighty-eight days after your court hearing your lawyer calls to say the judge has issued an order, and suggests you come to his office to review it. With a sinking feeling, you drop everything. The order is a disaster. It feels like the judge never read your papers or heard your lawyer's arguments. You never got to say anything to the judge. You feel it is not fair and there is no justice.
The productivity of wage earners tends to decline during the divorce process. Some judges and lawyers attribute this to the wage earner's desire to pay less support, and sometimes this is the explanation. However, the process of divorce and reduced productivity really can be connected.
Because you have to move out of the house and pay most of your income to your spouse, you'll have to temporarily move in with your parents or a buddy. How long is temporarily? You'll have to drive about an hour to your former home to see your children for two hours twice a week. You'll have to work as much overtime as you can to have some spending money for your visits with the children and to pay some rent. After reading the order, you don't feel much like working at all, let alone working overtime.
The ability to appeal a temporary order varies from state to state, so check with your lawyer if you really believe you can't live with the order. Absent an appeal, you'll have to live with the judge's order unless you bring another motion that results in a different order. If you choose to live with the order, at least you have a framework within which to operate until the divorce is done.
