Write Now!

If you have counted yourself out of the vow-writing game simply because English was your all-time least favorite subject back in school, you have to change that attitude. Remember, not only were you far less mature back then than you are now (or so we hope), but in those years you also were being led through a curriculum. In many schools, there isn't a lot of room for creativity or even a whole lot of discussion in English classes. For these reasons, a lot of potential writers (and readers) are turned off at a relatively early age to the whole idea of expressing themselves on paper.

If that's your attitude, it's about to change. You can rediscover any spark you may have once had for writing, and what better way to do this than by writing about your future spouse?

E~ssential

Give yourself at least two months to make revisions and outright changes to your vows. At some point, what you've written may be extremely close to perfection, but it still might not sound exactly right. You can't rush the creative process, so don't leave this until the night before the wedding, or your greatest fear (the one about sounding like a nitwit at the altar) may very well come true.

What You Need to Write Amazing Vows

You don't have to shoot to be the new, female Shakespeare, and you don't need to invest in a lot of equipment. In fact, here's a list of what you'll need:

  • A pencil with an eraser

  • A pad of paper

  • An open mind

  • Ample time

The only other thing you need is the confidence that you can write a decent set of wedding vows. You don't need to buy ten books on how to write well, and you don't need any special software for your computer. As long as you can formulate a coherent sentence, there's no reason why you can't do this.

Keep It Classy

What are you supposed to say when you write your own vows? Well, your ultimate goal is to have your words sound sincere without being maudlin and to be personal without getting into too-intimate details. In other words, you want to remain on the correct side of the classy/trashy line. And you also want to keep it short enough so that your guests aren't falling asleep while you read a twenty-page dissertation on your fiancé's finer points.

This advice may seem to go against your better judgment. After all, this is your wedding, and you should be able to say whatever you want and speak for as long as you care to, right? Yes and no. There's no reason to cross some of these boundaries, especially when you're talking in front of a group of people. None of them need (or want) to hear about your amazing sex life, for example, so that has no place in your wedding vows.

E~Question

I'm writing my vows for my fiancé. Does it matter what my guests think?

Your vows should focus mainly on your fiancé, that's true. But since you've invited these people to witness your vows, try to avoid shocking them or making them extremely uncomfortable during the ceremony.

If your main goal is to elicit tears of joy from your fiancé, you'll probably also encourage eye rolls in the pews. Which is not to say that your fiancé shouldn't cry at your words — it's just that very few writers have the ability to compose something that makes people cry without also making them feel a little uncomfortable. So when you do sit down to write, write from your head and your heart. The tears will come naturally.

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