As you know, brides who plan in-town weddings usually depend on word-of-mouth referrals to get their planning started. A best friend, coworker, or neighbor will recommend a caterer, a florist, or a vocalist, the bride checks out the vendor in question, and wedding history is made. Many times, it really is that easy for in-town brides to find good wedding help — but where does that leave you? Can you hire a caterer from your hometown to come halfway across the state (or country) with you to your wedding? Are you supposed to grow and transport your own bouquet? Will you end up singing at your own ceremony? Of course not. Finding decent out-of-town vendors isn't hard to do if you just know where to start looking.

The first rule of checking out wedding vendors is to prepare yourself for interviews and research. (In other words, get organized!) Have a notebook handy to jot down important facts when you talk to a banquet manager, a baker, a florist — whomever. The second most important thing is to put away any tendencies toward shyness and ask all the questions that you need to have answered!

Most couples start their planning by booking the reception site, which is where most of the wedding-fund money will be spent. For this reason, you won't commit to a reception site without first checking it out and making sure it's a legitimate business that suits your needs. You can find this kind of information by talking with the catering or dining room manager, asking the right questions, and checking referrals.

Here's what you'll need to find out:

• Is your preferred date available? No sense going any further until you've determined whether this place is available.

• What is the total occupancy of the site? If the site can't accommodate your large family, you'll have to move on.

• Does the facility also allow ceremonies to be performed on site? Most will.

• What kind of food does the site specialize in? You want to get an idea of whether the site can meet your specific desires here. If you're looking for a vegetarian meal and the location you're considering serves only spit-fired pig roasts, it might not be a good fit.

• Is there a dance floor? How large? Can your boogying friends and family all fit into the space?

• What about the bar? How large is it, and how many bartenders will be on duty? You don't want parched guests standing in line for thirty minutes waiting for their booze.

• Will you pay for coat checkers and valet parking attendants? In upscale places, the answer is usually yes.

• How much will you pay for the site per hour? What's the fee for running overtime? Obviously, these fees vary from place to place.

• Does the site charge a cake-cutting or wine-corking fee? How much? Many places do charge for these services, so don't be surprised to hear you'll pay for someone to slice up your dessert.

• What other charges can you expect? Sales tax? Linen rental? Centerpieces?

• If the site doesn't serve food, can the staff refer you to a caterer? We'll get to this in a moment.

These questions will give you a good idea as to whether this place is right for your wedding. You'll learn a lot about the accommodations, the service, and the price. If you like what you hear, ask the manager to send you some literature so that you can read everything in black and white.

Once you've checked out the place, ask for referrals — and call those people! It doesn't take a whole lot of time to contact brides who can either put your fears to rest or tell you to steer clear of a place. Ask them what they liked best about the place, but also ask them what didn't go according to plan — because there's usually something. If it's a small thing (like the coat-check girl giving out the wrong coats) that's nothing to worry about. If you hear the same major issue from all of the brides you speak to — such as the food was cold and the service was slow — that's reason enough to start looking into other options.