The most difficult part of falling in love with an offbeat wedding spot is planning a wedding from miles away with vendors who aren't used to dealing with out-of-town brides. Fortunately, technology has made this much less of an issue. E-mails, faxes, and phone calls are almost as good as sitting down face-to-face with a business owner. The downside is that sometimes you can't get a good feel for a product (flowers, for example) unless you're able to see it in person.

Generally speaking, if you're thinking about planning an out-of-town wedding, you should have exceptional organizational skills and a disposition that includes the ability to take things in stride. If you can't reach your caterer a week before the wedding, for example, you should be able to say to yourself, “He's just out talking to a client. I'm sure he'll return my call before the day is over,” instead of, “I know he's taken my money and left town! How am I going to feed a hundred people at the reception?

Oh, why, why did I ever try to plan this wedding out of town?”

Test Yourself

Not sure if you're ready to plan a faraway wedding? Take this personality quiz and find out:

• Your desk at work reminds you of:

• A well-oiled machine. All the pieces are in place.

• A forest. You can navigate your way through the undergrowth.

• The news. In particular, last week's natural disaster.

Generally, you return e-mails and phone calls:

As soon as possible.

Within forty-eight hours.

When the other person calls or e-mails you again — and again.

If no one showed up at your wedding, you would feel:

Fine — as long as the groom was there.

Sad, but you'd understand some people couldn't make it.

Devastated, enraged, and out for revenge.

You like to plan things:

Alone.

With your fiancé or a good friend.

You've never followed a plan in your life.

Your best friend would describe you as:

Very structured.

Structured, but able to let your hair down.

The least structured person on the face of the earth.

When things don't go your way, you:

Find a way to make them go your way.

Retreat and think up a new plan.

Cry. And then cry some more.

You like adventure.

True.

False.

If someone questioned your choice of wedding site, you'd most likely respond by saying:

“You'll love it once you get there!”

“I know it's not everyone's cup of tea, but give it a chance.”

“You're uninvited.”

Here's the answer key:

• Mostly a's: You're going to hold up just fine when planning an out-of-town wedding. You're well organized and ready to face the tasks that lie ahead.

• Mostly b's except for number 7: Although you could certainly work on your organizational skills, they are solid enough to carry you through this wedding-planning adventure. Good luck!

• Mostly c's, and b for number 7: Don't do it! Being disorganized and unable to deal with stress are not mortal sins — but don't put yourself through the emotional wringer by taking on the task of planning a long-distance wedding.

Analysis

You might think it's silly to determine the type of wedding you end up planning using a personality test. But here's the scoop: Planning a wedding is a big deal. It's time-consuming, it can be exhausting, and it can take over your entire life. Organized women can usually take everything in stride. That's not to say that problems won't pop up even for these brides; it's just that they're more likely to do a thorough job of researching vendors before they hire them. Nevertheless, unforeseen trouble sometimes arises. An organized, calm bride will immediately look for the solution instead of letting her emotions carry her away, thinking that this is the worst thing that has ever happened to anyone. A less-organized bride might not know how to even go about beginning to look for a solution, which results in panic, which, in turn, results in misery.

If you know that you are disorganized and/or that planning is not your strongest quality, don't try to plan a wedding out of town by yourself. Choose a destination wedding resort or hire a wedding planner based in the town you're headed to, and let the professionals take over. You'll learn more about this option in the last section of this chapter: “Long Live the Wedding Planner!”