Should you depend on a contribution from both sets of parents in order to finance your wedding? Should you even ask? This varies from family to family. Some parents are more than happy to pitch in; some are more concerned with their retirement nest eggs than with making sure their daughter has the perfect wedding dress (and perhaps in the long run, when they're not dependent on you in their old age, you'll be happy they had this mindset).

If your mom and dad helped pay for both of your sisters' weddings, then chances are they're probably planning on tossing you some cash for your jaunt down the aisle. Same thing goes for your future in-laws: If they pitched in on a wedding for their other son, then they'll probably be willing to help with this wedding, too. Just keep in mind that you aren't really entitled to anyone else's money, so resist the urge to compare and contrast how much your sisters' weddings cost to how much your parents are willing to give you.

This is easier said than done, of course. But if you're ready to officially enter adult life, this is the ultimate test: Being grateful for what you're given, instead of wishing it were more.

You know your parents best. You know how and when to bring up the subject of money, how to ask for it, how to negotiate the terms. Let your fiancé decide the best way to approach his parents for a contribution. The bottom line: It's not worth a fight. If parents can't or won't contribute, move on and do the best you can with the resources you have. You don't want hard feelings about your wedding following you around for the rest of your life.

There are definitely some benefits to paying for your own wedding, especially if you and your mother regularly butt heads over such trivial issues as which dish soap works best or whether it's day or night at any given moment. Some engaged women have the notion that planning a wedding with Mother will bring the two of them closer together than they've ever been. Usually, though, the reality is that wedding planning can be stressful under the best of circumstances (when a bride and her mother just love, love, love being together). Put a mother and daughter who constantly bicker together in a bridal salon and watch the sparks fly!

It seems that there are very few shades of gray when brides plan a wedding with a mom who's paying. Either the bride goes on an ultimate kid-in-the-candy-store shopping spree (which results either in the bride being blissfully happy or the bride spiraling wildly out of control) or the mother of the bride takes charge and plans the wedding she would have had thirty years earlier if she (or her parents) had had the money. In the first scenario, Mom often ends up jittery and unhappy; in the second scenario, the bride is the one taking the emotional hit. So, you see, a little financial independence on your part can make planning the wedding easier on everyone.