A night or two before the wedding, you and your wedding party will gather at the ceremony site for a walk-through of the wedding. Although this is sometimes a highly anticipated time, the true purpose of this get-together — which is essentially a dress rehearsal for the big event you've been planning for so many months — gets lost in the shuffle. Bridesmaids are giggling, ushers are talking to their girlfriends, and your ring bearer is climbing up the trellis.

It's your job to call everyone to attention so that they know what to expect during the ceremony. Play the part of mother hen with any attendant whose head seems to be lost in the clouds at this time. This is the only time you'll have everyone together at the site before the wedding. If no one is paying attention to directions, your ceremony could end up being a confused mess! In this section, we'll take a look at the major elements of the wedding ceremony so that you know what to look for and take note of at the rehearsal.

Seating Savvy

Your groomsmen are expected to seat your guests before the ceremony in a polite and timely fashion. They should be prepared to be charming to a fault. They also should know that for a Christian ceremony, the bride's friends and family traditionally are seated to the left (as one enters the site); the groom's side is to the right. The opposite is true for most Jewish weddings. Ushers should know how to seat everyone accordingly, filling the seats starting in the front and moving toward the back.

Parents of the bride and groom are seated in the first row of their respective sides; siblings go behind them; and grandparents sit in the third row (if there are no siblings, grandparents take the second row of seats). The last person to be seated before the ceremony starts is the mother of the bride. If one of her sons is an usher, he usually does the honor.

If your parents are divorced, your mom gets the front row at the ceremony along with the privilege of choosing who gets to sit there with her (assuming she has not remarried). If the split was friendly, your dad can sit in the row behind her; if not, separate them by a row or two. If your father is the one who raised you, though, flip-flop this arrangement.

Two by Two

Your attendants will be given instructions by the officiant or by a wedding coordinator on how to proceed down the aisle. Sometimes there is room for a little variation — such as having couples meet halfway down the aisle as opposed to lining up and walking together from the doorway — but in most instances, what's suggested by the person in charge works out just fine. Your bridesmaids go first, followed by your maid of honor, your ring bearer, and your flower girl (in that order — though child attendants sometimes walk together, and the maid of honor sometimes ends up pulling both of them toward the altar), and then you.

Brides often choose to have their father walk them down the aisle for the purpose of giving them away. If the bride's father has passed away, she may choose an uncle, a brother, or another male family member to perform the duty. Some brides choose to have their mother fill this role, whether their dad is alive or not, and some brides choose to have both parents escort them down the aisle (which is the norm in a Jewish wedding). Still other brides choose to walk down the aisle by themselves, figuring they are giving themselves to their new husband.

Put traditional etiquette aside here and figure out which arrangement makes you most comfortable. If you're very independent and you don't like the idea of someone else handing you off to your fiancé, then explain this to your father. On the other hand, you should also avoid having an army of parents, stepparents, grandparents, and great-grandparents walk you down the aisle. While the sentiment behind this way of thinking is lovely — the entire family is giving you away — you'll be completely lost in the shuffle.

Simply having your family at the ceremony sends essentially the same message, in a much more manageable way.

Practice for the Ceremony

During the rehearsal, you'll run through an abbreviated version of the ceremony, including where you, the groom, and your attendants will be standing and what they should be doing (the maid of honor, for example, should know to reach for your flowers once you arrive at the altar; she should also know that it's her job to make sure you look picture-perfect at all times without blocking the shot with her big head).

The officiant will have readers take their positions on the altar and will probably ask them to read an excerpt or two so that he can give them a few pointers on speaking loudly and clearly during the ceremony. The same goes for you and the groom while you're reciting your vows: Speak up! If the two of you have written your own vows and would rather save them for the ceremony, make your wishes clear. If the officiant only wants to ensure that you'll be able to speak loudly enough, he can certainly have you recite traditional vows during the rehearsal.

You'll also run through the exchange of rings and any other major elements of the ceremony, such as lighting a unity candle. Listen to your officiant's advice for taking care of your dress while you move around the altar, and make sure your maid of honor is listening, too! Although you've tried on your wedding dress several times, you haven't done anything practical (like, say, walking around a church) in it. If the officiant warns you that three brides in the past month have tripped on their dresses on their way up a set of stairs to light the unity candle, he's not trying to scare you; he's kindly trying to prevent you from becoming number four!

Before you know it, the rehearsal will be over and you'll be on your way out the door. The order in which the wedding party entered is reversed during the recessional: You and the groom walk out first, followed by your child attendants, honor attendants, bridesmaids and ushers, and parents.