Religious and Civil Ceremonies
A religious marriage ceremony is sometimes easier to plan than its civil counterpart, because many religions require specific elements. It's similar to the way a destination wedding planner narrows down your choices so that you simply check things off a list and say, “We'll do this, this, and this.” If you're steadfast in your faith, a religious ceremony is a beautiful and comforting occasion. And if you aren't a particularly religious person, your ceremony can be every bit as meaningful as one held in a church.
In this section, we'll talk about how to find the readings for both types of ceremonies.
Readings for the Religious Ceremony
Most times, the readings for a religious ceremony will be provided for you by the minister, priest, or rabbi. They will come from either the Old or New Testament — or both, depending on your religious affiliation — and will focus on the joy of marriage.
E~Alert
Secular readings are generally not heard at religious weddings, although a very modern-minded priest or rabbi might allow this from time to time.
When you commit to a religious ceremony, you're at the mercy of the officiant and the rules of the church or synagogue (speaking in the larger sense of the entire religion, not just the specific location where your ceremony will take place). There isn't a lot of room for negotiation here, so don't expect to meet with the priest and tell him how things are going to go during your ceremony. It's pretty much going to be his way or the highway.
Keeping It Civil
Civil ceremonies allow opportunities for getting creative with your music and readings, which can be a good thing or a bad thing, depending on your ability to choose well and eliminate anything inappropriate.
Civil ceremonies aren't just for atheists and agnostics — sometimes a couple whose religious backgrounds are different will decide on a civil union to avoid choosing one church over the other for the ceremony. Or perhaps both partners are Catholic, but one has been divorced and hasn't had the first union annulled. Some couples believe in God but haven't been to church in years and don't see the point in starting now. Whatever the case, you might want your civil union to contain a
1 Corinthians 13:1–13
Song of Solomon 2:10–13
Ruth 1:1–17
You can also put together a touching ceremony without referencing the Bible. If romantic poetry is more along the lines of what you're thinking for your ceremony readings, check out these masterpieces:
“Wedding Prayer,” Robert Louis Stevenson
Sonnets from the Portuguese, Elizabeth Barrett Browning“An Irish Wedding Blessing” (traditional)
“A Dedication to My Wife,” T. S. Eliot
“Sudden Light,” Dante Gabriel Rossetti
“The Passionate Shepherd to His Love,” Christopher Marlowe
You can also find beautiful passages in novels, literature, song lyrics, movies — just open your mind and start reading and listening to the words of love all around you! You may also choose to use some of these writings in your vows. (For more information on writing your own vows, see Chapter 15.)
