What to Serve, What to Avoid
When it comes down to reception time, your guests will expect appetizers, dinner, dessert, and liquor (in that order — except for the liquor, of course).
The best thing about finding a really good caterer is having the opportunity to sample his wares, so ask your caterer what his specialties are and try to include at least a couple in your choices. If you find that they're very unusual-sounding, you may want to include his specialty appetizers and go with more traditional food for dinner.
For Starters
You'll be asked if you want the appetizers laid out buffet-style or served on trays. This is a very personal choice and really depends on what your guests will be most comfortable with.
Some people love having others serve them; others are so uncomfortable with the concept that they'll turn down the appetizers out of embarrassment. Also, a very elegant wedding calls for having servers making the rounds, where a less formal event just doesn't.
Appetizers are easy enough, because you really can try to please everyone and
Essential
Setting up appetizer stations is a perfectly acceptable alternative to having waiters circulating with trays — but make sure the stations are placed throughout the reception site. As long as the appetizers are spread out enough (eliminating the possibility of a traffic jam), you shouldn't hear any complaints about the lack of trays circulating with stuffed mushrooms.
No Pushing!
Though the staunchest etiquette mavens have eschewed the buffet as being in bad taste, citing the need for guests to leave their seats and wait in line to be fed, the truth is that buffets (and stations, which basically are a buffet line spread out across the room) have come a long way.
Years ago, the average wedding buffet had some chicken, some pasta, some mashed potatoes, a green veggie, and maybe — maybe — a fresh salad. Nowadays, you're very likely to find the best that a caterer has to offer, such as filet mignon, salmon, and roasted veggies, along with fancy mashed potatoes (herbed or smashed). This is the same food you'd choose for a sit-down meal, by the way, so you're not shortchanging your guests; you're actually giving them the opportunity to have both meat and fish.
If you've been thinking about a buffet but you're worried about what your guests are going to think or say, take a look at your choices and decide from there. (More than one nitpicking relative has been won over by a good buffet.)
Sit-Downs
Going with a sit-down dinner is still an option, of course. Most brides give their guests the option of fish, meat, or a vegetarian meal, especially in this age of low-fat diets. (Why give the option of meat, then? Because your linebacker brother will never make it through the night on just a slab of salmon.)
You can try to ascertain the caterer's serving protocol, but the truth is, you can't know how good or bad the service is unless you experience it for yourself or you find someone else who has. For this reason alone, it's worth your while to get the names of some previous brides — and call them! Ask if guests were served in a timely manner or if those at the tables way in the back were left wishing for a crust of bread while others were on the dance floor already.
Sit-down dinners are still considered the most elegant way to serve your wedding guests, so if pampering your relatives and friends is important to you, then this is the way to go.
