Attendant Duties
Traditionally, bridesmaids are held responsible for hosting the bride's wedding shower and helping her with her pre-wedding errand running and other tasks. You can call on your bridesmaids to help you address those wedding invitations, for example, or to come dress shopping with you. In the hours (or days, in the case of a weeklong destination wedding) before the ceremony, the bridesmaids help the bride with last-minute preparations for her big day.
E~Alert
Bridesmaids are expected to be pleasant enough toward the bride during the wedding season. The bride, in turn, promises not to treat the bridesmaids as though they are her actual property. If you are kind and considerate of your attendants, they should return the favor.
Generally speaking, the maid of honor and best man should be reliable enough for you to call on them for help with just about anything, so choose these two wisely. The maid (or matron, if she is married) of honor has special duties. She is expected to sign the marriage certificate as a witness and is held responsible for keeping the bride looking her loveliest during the ceremony. In fact, she should be prepared to keep the bride's dress looking picture-perfect the whole day through. The maid or matron of honor also is sometimes asked to hold the groom's ring until the officiant asks for it during the ceremony, though some couples expect their best man to hang on to both rings.
The groomsmen have their own set of duties. They are supposed to help the groom with his own set of pre-wedding tasks and errands (which, let's be honest, are not usually quite as extensive as those of the bride). Usually, they host the groom's bachelor party and show guests to their seats during the ceremony and also tend to any last-minute pre-wedding tasks that aren't otherwise covered (if the groom realizes on the morning of the wedding that he has forgotten to pack his tie, for instance, a groomsman or two can promptly be dispatched to rectify the situation). They are expected to be charming under any circumstances on the day of the wedding.
Bridesmaids and groomsmen agree to be in the wedding party acknowledging that it is almost always an expensive prospect, destination wedding or not. If your friends are of limited means, do your part to keep their costs down where possible. For example, if the resort you've chosen is on the pricey side, try to keep the cost of the bridesmaids' dresses low.
E~ssential
Be up front about your attendants' financial duties from the moment you ask them to be in the bridal party. This includes wardrobe, airline tickets, hotel costs — everything. If you have no intention of picking up the airline tab for everyone, say so. You don't want a simple misunderstanding to end up as a friendship-breaker six months from now.
If you're planning to have a small wedding party and you're having a terrible time choosing among friends and siblings, there may be a way for you to include everyone. As long as you're having a regular ceremony (as opposed to a short tying-of-the-knot by a justice of the peace), you have plenty of jobs to hand out, such as:
Readings
Presentation of gifts (in a religious ceremony)
Handing out programs prior to the ceremony
Distributing bubbles, birdseed, or flowers to be showered upon you after the ceremony
When assigning these duties, consider who's most likely to actually show up and who might bail on you at the last minute. Also, don't ask a friend to do anything too time-consuming, like being responsible for taking all of your wedding photos. For one thing, that's a big favor to ask of a guest (and you want everyone to have a great time at your wedding). For another, what if the pictures turn out horribly? You don't want to lay that kind of responsibility on a friend.
