Dealing with a Child's Depression
Childhood is full of bumps, bruises, scrapes, and cuts. You treat these minor problems with a hug and a bandage, but the bigger hurts may leave you scared. Two emotions may be competing with scared: guilt and denial. Here's what these may mean for you.
Essential
Find a support group for parents with children with depression. Talking to others who are in your situation can help relieve stress and give you good information on strategies for daily living. You'll be able to share what you've learned as well, and the feeling that you've helped another parent will lift your spirits. Your local hospital may be able to put you in touch with just the right group for your needs.
It's All My Fault
If your child has bipolar disorder, you understand the role genetics plays in it, and you may feel some guilt about having passed on that gene. Telling you that feeling that guilt is nonsense, doesn't help one bit. Understanding that this was not a conscious decision may help. You didn't sit down one evening and decide, “Let's have a child. Oh, and by the way, let's be sure he inherits your bipolar disorder.”Genetics happen. Just as brown hair, blue eyes, left-handedness, or a tendency toward high blood pressure happen, so can depression. As a parent, you learn to roll with the punches, taking the bad along with the good. Bipolar disorder can be managed, and you'll see to it that your child learns the best self-care possible.
Denial
You want your child to be perfect, and when you get handed that baby for the very first time, you truly believe in perfection. When that bubble is burst by a diagnosis that frightens you, your first reaction may be rejection. “No,” you say. “It's got to be something else.” (Something simpler is what you're hoping, inside.) Actually, this initial denial gives your mind and body time to adjust. You're just buying a little time. Get all the information you can and become educated about your child's form of depression. You will work through this together, and your child will need your love, guidance, and support during the recovery process. Your initial response is born out of love. Your commitment to follow through with whatever you can do is also born out of that love and can be powerful medicine.
Every Parent's Nightmare
If your child has been the victim of a trauma, and this may include a serious accident or even sexual abuse, the pain you feel is indescribable. And as you watch your child coping with therapy sessions, you sometimes feel your heart will break. As much as you would like to be everywhere, watching over your child all the time, you know that's not possible. Tragedies happen. The most difficult task for you during this time is to show strength and love. Play therapy and counseling can work wonders for your child, and family counseling can help all of you process the feelings and move forward.
Alert
If at any time your child mentions suicide, take this very seriously. Even children have been known to commit suicide, so call your therapist or physician immediately to get help and keep your child within sight, until that help arrives.
