Friendships are the buffer zones for life's ups and downs, and when you're struggling with depression, there is nothing more important than seeking help and support from friends. If you're having a bad day, instead of sulking on the couch alone, pick up the telephone and call a friend. Tell the friend you're feeling down and ask if she would like to go out and get lunch, coffee, whatever.

This is a good start. Friends will listen because they care and because they're curious as to the reason why you're depressed. They'll ask what's wrong. You'll take a deep breath, sigh, and tell all. They'll sympathize with your plight and give advice. You'll each commiserate, share stories, have a cup of coffee or a beer, and then the conversation will turn to other topics.

It's an effective, practical, and cheap way of working through minor problems that are causing you to feel down. A word of caution, however: Only a trained mental health professional is qualified to provide therapy.

Sometimes, however, even your closest friends reach the breaking point and need to distance themselves for their own well-being. A steady diet of gloom and doom can dishearten even the jolliest spirit.

For friendships to both thrive and survive, there needs to be ample time for both talking and listening by each party. There's an unwritten time limit for each pity party. Each friend listens, each friend shares. Once you've used up your allotted time, you're expected to listen.

If you have depression, this becomes more difficult. You may hear your friend talk about her problems, but you might not be truly listening. It's a fine but important distinction. Do your best to stay on top of this behavior; you don't want to lose the friends who are helping you through your tough time.