You may find that your depression is usually at its worst upon waking in the morning and tends to improve during the course of the day. Why? It has to do with the quality of your sleep.

Sleep studies at the Human Givens Institute, associated with MindFields College in the UK, have found that, if you're dealing with depression, you tend to dream more than people who are not depressed. All this dreaming takes up a considerable portion of sleeping time, stealing the time that otherwise would allow for deep, restorative sleep.

Normally, you'll move through different levels of sleep during the night. There are cycles of REM sleep (Rapid Eye Movement) when you dream and non-REM sleep when you don't dream. Non-REM sleep is broken into four different phases, with phases 3 and 4 being the deep levels of sleep. Those levels are the restorative, healing levels of sleep.

When you're dreaming (in REM sleep) too much, because your mind is working through your problems, concerns, or troubles, your body doesn't spend adequate time in deep, restorative sleep. What happens then is that you wake up in the morning and still feel tired.

Worrying Makes It Worse

Worrying is not productive. Worriers are not pleasant to be around; they focus only on the problem, not on solutions. When you create a mental list of worries, and the list grows as the day goes on, your mind is forced to keep track of them. You can't stop worrying; you can't stop stressing. Depression won't let you. You're constantly inside yourself, brooding. And you start to dread going to bed, because you know your sleep will be restless at best, nonexistent at worst.

Dealing with Insomnia

Some nights you can't shut off your brain and go to sleep. Thought after thought pummels away at you. Sometimes you give up, get up, and read or watch a little TV until you try again to sleep. You may begin taking sleep medications or perhaps having a nightcap or two before you go to bed. But this doesn't fix the problem and may not even mask the symptoms for long.

When this happens occasionally, not to worry. When this becomes a predictable pattern, there are some simple things you can do on your own to help stop the negative thought flow. For example, before retiring for the night, write down everything that is currently causing you stress. The act of committing these thoughts to paper can relieve your brain. You've taken action.

The next day, look to see if there is a pattern to your worries. Do they center around your children? Your spouse? Your job? Your finances? Organizing your worries can be a productive exercise, allowing you to consider them with some objectivity. You're beginning to exert some control.

Once you've identified the categories, take a look at what you've listed under each. Put them in order from biggest worry to smallest worry or smallest to biggest — whatever seems more comfortable to you. You're identifying what is making you sleepless.

After each worry, consider what kind of action could be appropriate. For example, suppose you worry about your daughter's safety, as she lives on her own in an urban area. You realize you've been consciously or unconsciously looking for news stories that focus on the problems of young adults working in the inner cities. You worry about crime and about her becoming the victim of a break-in or a mugging. In your worst-case scenario, you picture her running for her life.

You also worry she won't have enough money to cover all her expenses, or that she's not putting enough away for the future. You worry about her job security and what she'll do if she's laid off. What's most important here? First comes safety; after that, it appears job and finances are connected. Now what?

Acceptance Means Relief

The most difficult part of this process comes in realizing and accepting that you have no control over another individual. Your daughter is living her life, just as you are living yours. As a parent, you will always worry about your grown children. It comes with the birth certificate — a lifelong commitment of love.

Take a deep, cleansing breath. Close your eyes and visualize a positive city scene. It may be a museum, art gallery, anything that evokes good images. Next, place your daughter in that scene. Then add the following caption to that picture: “I trust my daughter to live responsibly.” Just as repeating negative thoughts can imprint them on your mind, so can repeating positive ones — and you have also associated a positive image with the positive thought.

How to convey your worries to her? The next time you chat or meet, discuss them as you would with any other adult. This can be tough, but keeping channels of communication open is the best antidote to worry. You may be surprised to learn that she worries about you, as well!

Another Example

Here's one more worry example. You are worried you'll be all alone one day, with no one to care about you or for you. Is this a reasonable worry? Possibly, but focusing too much on that scenario can create a self-fulfilling prophecy. What to do? Back to your list.

This time, instead of concentrating on a possibility, you're going to look at solutions that will eliminate the prospect of this depressing future. When you're depressed, the future is a dark and dismal place, devoid of hope. But that's an imaginary future, since the real future is yet to be written. Having a plan to deal with your worries, one by one, is really a plan to effectively deal with depression.

You've already constructed the bleak future, so now ask yourself what a good future would look like. It would probably include friends, family, health, and the resources to make life worth living. Again, you've developed your categories. Since you're dealing with depression, begin with the health category, as it influences each of the others.

It's time to make a plan for managing your depression. Your first task should be scheduling a complete physical exam. With the information this will give you, you'll be able to target specific behavioral changes to improve the quality of your life. The actions you take now will greatly influence how you feel later on.

Regaining Control

Even if you can only think of one item to add to one category each day, in one week, you'll have begun to construct a blueprint for your life that is of your making. There will be seven items you've added and seven can become your lucky number, since you will have begun to retake control. Depression may be a part of your life, but it does not have to define who you are. Only you can define yourself.

Need an idea? Go to the friends category and write down, “Send birthday card to Sharon.” It can be just that simple. Keeping connections alive is essential to your emotional health. Keeping track of what you have accomplished builds upon itself. Just as with thinking positive thoughts, taking even small, positive actions can bring you out of the doldrums, one baby step at a time.