Adopted and foster children are at increased risk for RAD and have difficulty bonding because, with the exception of an infant adopted at birth, their bonds have been severed. As the new caregiver, you must consider your own perception of the child in addition to the child's perception of you and his world.

Adoption, Foster Care, and Trauma

If you want the child to have an emotionally healthy life, you must be a reliable and emotionally available caregiver for the child. Consider what it would be like for the child if he thought that you could get rid of him at any moment, just as easily as you took him in. Being available for the long haul and making the child's emotional needs a priority is the best way to provide a reliable and emotionally available caregiving environment. However, it's not easy, and once the child knows he is safe, he will probably need to work through his feelings of anger and abandonment, meaning you will have a cycle (or many) of feelings and behaviors to work through.

How to Bond as the New Caregiver

Be emotionally available consistently, and don't go back on your word. If you say, “Let's go to the park tomorrow!” stick to it, because this child has been let down before. Make life as predictable as possible, and pay close emotional attention to him. What kinds of events or emotions are pleasant for the child? What seems to disturb him? Minimize the bad; maximize the good, and talk when the child wants to, not when you want to.