To heal from abuse and trauma takes a lot of love, time, and attention. Therapy can be quite helpful. If you find that it makes the child feel like the identified patient, or like there is something wrong with her, try family therapy instead. It can help the child feel like you're on her team, an important way to give her a little extra support.

Positive Reinforcement

Be very kind, loving, and gentle with a child who has been abused or traumatized, and follow the tips for praise and reward outlined in Chapter 5. Continue catching the child in the act of doing something good and respond with “Way to go!” a hug, or a reward.

Time

Healing from abuse and trauma takes a lot of time, and depending on the severity of the experience, may never be complete. You can affect the child for the better, though. Be patient and consistent, and show a lot of love. It's not possible to spoil a child with love! Love doesn't mean giving her everything she wants, it means being affectionate in a way that the child appreciates, and providing a safe and emotionally stable environment.