Now you can put these concepts into action for five-to-ten-year-olds. You'll still need to focus primarily on rewards, and you can now assign your child responsibilities that are a little more difficult or require more mental effort to remember and carry out.

How to Reward Good Behavior

A star chart is still effective, though you might want to change the look of it, or ask the child to decorate it himself. If your child isn't excited by stickers, use check marks on a dry-erase board. You'll find that kids this age are more motivated by adding up small “points” and cashing them in, rather than by getting a Lego or other small toy each time. Still, don't make the prizes too big — staying up fifteen minutes later or getting thirty extra minutes of screen time are ample prizes for ten or so points. Competition is a huge motivator at this age, so your child may also be motivated to compete with himself by beating last week's total points for an additional prize.

Start the chart by choosing two to three good behaviors you want to encourage, such as completing homework each night so that he gets into the habit of doing schoolwork and having to harness his potential. Even if assignments are too “boring,” or just for “dumb kids,” reward him for doing them. You might also choose to reward acts of kindness toward other family members. Tell your child the rewards are effective immediately, and post them in a conspicuous place. Finally, don't check out once the program is set up; remain actively involved because your child still needs verbal praise, affection, and hugs from you for motivation.

How to Decrease Problem Behavior

As always, try as much as possible to reframe problem behavior so you're asking your child to do something instead of to not do it. However, there will be negative behaviors, such as destroying property, failing to do schoolwork, and lying, that need consequences

Time out is still effective at this age, but you might want to call it something that sounds more age-appropriate, like the “cool-down zone.” Also effective is the incremental loss of privileges, if it's done in predictable chunks, instead of randomly or sweeping, which can infuriate a child because it seems arbitrary and unfair. So, delineate this ahead of time, write it up, and present it to your child by saying something like, “Here's the first rule. ‘No destroying others' property.’ What kinds of actions do you think are considered destroying property?” Give your child a chance to name some, like breaking a sibling's toy, punching holes in the walls, or whacking things with a stick. If the child stays silent, throw out a few examples yourself, then point to the rule chart and continue: “If you do this, here's the consequence. ‘Miss the next day of soccer.’ That could be soccer practice or a soccer game, whichever is coming up.” Tell your child the rules are effective immediately, and post them in a conspicuous place.