The number one reason most people underestimate the impact of bullying is simple: most kids don't tell. Only 25–50 percent of kids who are bullied report it. There is a code of silence among children; they fear that telling an adult will make them vulnerable. They fear retaliation by the bully, they fear the adults won't take them seriously or will blame them, and they worry that the grownups — parents included — will inappropriately handle the situation.

Since the majority of bullying occurs in areas where there is little adult supervision, such as on the bus or playground, in hallways, stairwells, cafeterias, locker rooms, and in parking lots, it is rarely witnessed. And if someone tells, teachers are often faced with a he said/ she said situation.

Adding insult to injury, many adults simply don't get it. Adults have become desensitized to all but the most egregious violence. A bump here, a shove there, most adults think, “What's the big deal?” Unless you have personally experienced long-term bullying, it may be hard to fully comprehend just how profoundly damaging even minor long-term bullying is to kids. Another concern is that most adults (parents included) have no idea how to stop bullying once they find out about it, and still others continue to think it's a normal part of growing up: “I dealt with it, and so can you.”