Behavior modification is the psychological theory that you can change a person's behavior through the application of positive reinforcement and punishment. It works simply by reinforcing desired behaviors and punishing undesirable behaviors. That said; it makes sense to expose your child to opportunities where he will be positively reinforced for good behavior. Give him the chance to be successful and he will experience how good it feels to be reinforced for his positive behaviors (instead of destructive ones).

Sandra was upset to learn that her son was bullying a handicapped boy on his baseball team. Sandra had some in-depth conversations with her son about bullying and she gave him a couple of books to read. She also told him that he should be prepared to volunteer six hours of his time this coming weekend.

Sandra arranged for her son to assist at a practice for the Special Olympics (an athletic competition for individuals with mental retardation or developmental disabilities). When Sandra's son found out where he would be volunteering, he was upset. Sandra held firm and required her son to volunteer.

That day, Sandra kept a close eye on her son and noticed how he smiled and noticeably perked up whenever someone complimented him on the job he was doing. He also seemed to enjoy helping the handicapped kids. Sandra realized that her son needed the opportunity to do things that brought out the best in him; he needed to do good things in order to feel good about himself.

It is your responsibility as a parent to expose your child to activies and experiences that will build his confidence and his sense of self-worth. All children have good in them; bringing it out is sometimes the difficult thing. Most kids want to be good and do good; many just don't know how to go about it. Volunteering is a great way to help your child feel good about himself and about what he can do to help others.