The Most Essential Social Skills for Kids
In dealing with children, there are some fundamental social skills that, when developed, will lay the foundation for your child to develop the more sophisticated skills he will need as he matures. The three most essential social skills for a young child to learn are:
The Ability to Make Friends
Childhood is all about making friends and playing with those friends. A large chunk of a child's time is spent in play activities. This play time allows children to practice and experiment with various kinds of relationships with different kinds of kids. The hope is that when kids play, they will learn how to interact effectively and will develop the skills necessary for making friends at every age. Unfortunately, this doesn't always work out as planned. Some kids will need your help and guidance to develop the skills that may appear to come naturally to other kids.
To Have Confidence in Herself and Her Abilities
If you watch kids on the playground, the kids who seem to have the most friends are usually the kids who display the highest level of self-confidence. Kids with confidence feel good about themselves and expect that others will like them and want to play with them. This confidence and positive attitude serves as a social magnet for kids. How can you instill this confidence in your child? It's simple: Find something your child is good at and allow her to become even better at it. Praise her, and love her unconditionally. Follow the guidelines in Chapter 13 on building self-esteem and you will be helping your child gain confidence.
Fact
Harvard psychologist Howard Gardner names “interpersonal intelligence” in his original list of the seven types of intelligences. Gardner defined interpersonal intelligence as, “the capacity to understand the intentions, motivations and desires of other people.” Gardner says that interpersonal intelligence is what allows people to work effectively with others.
Ability to be Resilient
Resilience (the ability to bounce back from life's little and big disappointments) is a vital life skill. If your child can learn to look at the bright side of a bad situation, it will protect his self-esteem. And the better your child gets at handling problems and conflicts, the more confidence he will gain in himself and his ability to cope.
Take ten-year-old Jamison, for example. When Jamison ran for class president, he was certain he would win the election. Election Day came and Jamison didn't win. Jamison went home that day, went online, and studied up on the strategies and philosophies of winning presidential campaigns. Instead of crying and moping around wondering why his classmates didn't like him enough to vote for him, he focused on what he'd done wrong with his campaign. Jamison was going to be ready with a winning strategy when next year's election arrived.
Andrew, Jamison's classmate, also lost the campaign. Andrew was so upset that he refused to go to school for the rest of the week. He couldn't face his classmates because he felt like a loser. Andrew stayed in his room and cried every day. He vowed that he would never again put himself out there to get hurt again.
Jamison chose to ignore the negative and looked at the positive of the situation. He decided he would study up and be better prepared next time. Andrew chose to see his loss as a personal failure. Andrew's self-esteem and confidence will suffer as a result of his inability to cope with his disappointment.
